So much is swimming in my head. The weather is changing, wondering what the future will be like. In a rather tight situation and work is not guaranteed. I feel all the struggles in life and challenges. One of the biggest deals is community spirt or lack of. Everybody around is so nose to the grid-stone. The daily grind of just work and weekends. That's not really living. It takes effort and being given a chance to be able to shine and feel a part of community. I have always had this feeling where I feel homeless and homesick for the fellowship of man. Not just to be trapped by corporations, entertainments, consumerism, money, no there is more to life than that.
The future is still kinda scary for now. I've had these times where I've been so stressed and bogged that my body starts reading with inflammation symptoms. I don't want that anymore. I don't want the situation to be so rough. That's why it pisses me off seeing people going for the so called normal life. It's like they don't know the harshness or have numbed themselves to it. When you see how dire the situation can be you don't want to mess around, goof off or get to sad. The situation of survival depends on you doing well. Not good for me to be around those who don't care what happens and don't look after themselves as much as they could. I still need improvements on myself too. Just harder to move on when your bogged down and the situation is brutal.
The brutal part is seeing so much potential in yourself and others and unable to make a move. Somehow gotta be different and blast out of the old routines and ways of thinking. I don't want to be conditioned where I am complacent and don't care what happens to me, the land we live on or future generations. It's important and vital to care I think.
Well I'm going to keep blasting through life and see what I can do. I want to harness my potential! For me yes! Also for others too! If I can boost myself and show what I'm upto that would be ideal. I feel there is something special there and life can be allot of fun and stay interesting! I must write my songs!! Create moods, pictures and tell stories with sound! I still feel so new at it in ways. I'm curious to see what I will come up with. Looking forward to tomorrow! That's my life update for now.
