A few days ago I read a comic strip in The Province (a Vancouver, Canada, newspaper) and it pushed one of my buttons.
I get that the comic strip was playing with the words, 'going Dutch'. For those who may not understand the 2 meanings, I will elaborate:
When dating, going Dutch is usually understood as each pays for their own meal. In this case, however, the man taking the lady out was meaning that he would take the lady to a Dutch restaurant and in the last frame of the comic strip, made it clear that he was going to pay for both meals.
What pushed my button was the center frame of the strip where the 3 older men criticised the younger man for suggesting that (as they wrongly assumed) each of them should pay for their own meal. How on Earth can we achieve true gender equality when so many people still hang onto the notion that men should always pay for the expenses when dating?
It is no wonder that many men still feel uneasy dating successful women, especially when the woman is more successful than the man!
Our society has brainwashed men (and perhaps some women too) that a man MUST be the provider and main breadwinner. Men are expected to earn more than women and thus they SHOULD pay all the expenses when dating.
So what happens when a man dates a woman who makes several times more income than he does? How can he possibly impress the woman who is used to living a much grander lifestyle than he can afford? This notion of "man always pays" will wreak havoc on his mind.
In order to achieve true gender equality, we as a society, need to drop the ideas we once held and adopt simple basic courtesy skills! When I’m passing through a doorway and I notice someone directly behind me, I hold the door for that person, regardless of their age or gender. It would be impolite to allow the door to swing shut and even dangerous if it smacked them in the face!
When at a restaurant, it is fine for each person to pay for what they ordered. This prevents someone with less morality from taking advantage of others by ordering the most expensive meal on someone else’s tab. If one person is going to pay for everyone, I think it is important to consider the ability of that person to pay. If at a fine dining establishment, I believe it would be morally wrong to allow the one earning only minimum wage or less to pay the tab. I would say that in order to allow the poorer member of the group to feel that they too are part of the group and that they get their chance to contribute, they be given that chance at an eating establishment that is less expensive. Or perhaps let them prepare food for a picnic. That way they are not made to feel inadequate by not contributing, but at the same time they are not contributing at a rate far exceeding what they can afford. This consideration should be applied REGARDLESS of gender.
Courtesy is appreciated by all and is gender neutral. If everyone treats everyone else with courtesy, the world will be a better place and gender biases will be forgotten. That would be a very good start to achieving gender equality!
