This morning I took a taxi at Airforce junction going to Eliozu. A woman drove, my second time of joining a taxi driven by a woman. From all I witnessed, she is not a regular cab driver.
On our way, I observed the vehicle was in a bad shape and almost broke down at some point.
I began asking my self; what kind of woman would risk driving on that highway in an obviously bad vehicle, endangering her life and that of her passengers. The answer to my question came like a whisper.....
'the kind of woman who would do anything legitimate to feed her children'
Then I wondered, where do 'men' get the impression that women are 'liabilities' whose only interest is money?
Who started that propaganda?
Could it be possible that someone's 'isolated' experience has been made generic.
Some 12years ago I lost my father. It was women, My two Aunts and My Mum that came together and ensured that my family of six siblings got a tertiary education. All my uncles; 'men' absconded. Up till this day, I have never eaten a 'kobo' from any male in the ancestral line of the Asole's outside my late father.
In fact, had it not been for the bravery of my two Aunts, my uncles would have taken everything that belonged to my father including that 'mud' house in the village. I wept the day my first Aunt told me the only reason she married from our village was to stay close to her brother, my father. Yet, someone still calls women 'liabilities'.
• I have younger ones in school. The boy will ask me for money, ask my elder brother for money and ask my mother for money....., all at same time. But the girls, especially the one after the boy, she would never ask if she never needed it.
Sometimes I call her up to ask how she is managing.
Then she would tell me mummy gave her money. She is the only one that can call on phone to ask how I am managing without any request.
But the boy....., in fact he only calls me 'big brother' when he is in need, after that, it is obinna or oboy (without capital letter).
•Yet, someone says women are liabilities.
I think when the chips are down, in every family, women are the only people who can be trusted to take up responsibility. I'm not just speaking from personal family experience, I see this in many families as well.
We must learn to stop this fallacy of unqualified generalization. That one girl took money from you and absconded does not mean every girl is money driven. I am surrounded by hard working ladies, those who wake up early and daily striving to achieve their dreams.
As a Bachelor I visit PH slaughter market often, 90% of the sellers there are women; under the sun and in the rain. They are not playing, they are striving. Women are the only people who will not back down from family responsibilities even in the midst of family quarrels.
They would never allow their father's house to shame. A woman carries on where a man's pride and arrogance won't. A man can drive taxi, strive day and night only to drink ogogoro with the proceeds or carry 'ashawo'. But when a woman hits the road, it is solely for the interest of her family.
"So dear men, when next you have the opportunity to ask a woman's hand in marriage, don't consider it a favor to her, rather an opportunity to bring into your life someone who will carry your responsibility when the chips are down"
...... Women are not liabilities, but dependable support in times of need.......
Yours sincerely,
Obinna Asole © 2017
A feminist.
