About eight days ago I admitted to those on steemit that I am an alcoholic. It was an extremely difficult thing for me to do, not only because it is embarrassing, but, as I suspected I did lose a few followers as a result of divulging this information.
Nevertheless, even though being an addict, truth has been a necessary driving force in my life-it has given me the strength to carry on even when fighting my demons albeit soaked in poisonous self medication.
A LITTLE BACKGROUND
I have beaten this addiction before but last year was an exceptionally bad one. Firstly I was diagnosed with lung disease, my shop and my source of income failed and had to be closed leaving me with a pile of debts and a very special relationship ended. I lost the love of my life. All of these things led me to relapse. At first it wasn't too bad but it got progressively worse and depression and anxiety permeated every fibre of my being. I had given up. No money, close to eviction from my house and a progressive deadly disease all added up in my mind to not caring about myself.
WHAT CHANGED
To begin with, nothing. As a matter of fact things got worse. My debts became and are now out of control. The doctor who had helped me in the first place left the practice. I had lost my ally. As a favour to a concerned friend I went back to the Doctors to try and get help. I had to see another doctor as mine had left and she was not helpful at all. I am not saying she was unkind but, as she did not know my case, she really offered no help at all. It was then that I realised that I had to do this on my own and devised a plan to do so.
RESULT
I am now six days sober. Six days free from my demon. It is still clawing at me, roaring and gnashing its teeth (the cravings, anxiety and depression are unrelenting) but I have managed to keep it at bay. I, not anyone else, have been fighting it and so far I am winning. It has not solved my other problems; my debts are getting worse, I am still grieving my lost relationship and I still have a degenerative disease but I can now face these problems with a clearer, more rational mind and with a spirit which is no longer chained and imprisoned. I can experience the real me again; someone who has been lost for so long.
CONCLUSION
Although addiction is exceptionally difficult to beat or resolve we all have it within us to do just this. We owe it to ourselves to regain our own equilibrium and identity. We must remember, no matter what else is going on in our lives, to love ourselves and let our spirit shine.
Although I said that I have lost a few followers as a result of my admission of alcoholism, I have had some very encouraging comments and support from a few people here on steemit and I want to thank those individuals tremendously namely 
Thank you steemit.
PEACE AND LOVE
