I booked a one way ticket to Europe during the August of 2016. I had just graduated from law school, took the bar exam, and reasoned that life would only get busier, I could only have more responsibilities, and be needed more and closer by my loved ones as time went on. This was my once-in-a-lifetime moment to seize a dream I had always wanted. Fast forward 18 months and 28 countries in Europe, the Middle East, and Africa, I have hitchhiked almost 3,000 miles, trainhopped, chased the Northern Lights, camped in some of the highest mountains in Africa, slept behind countless parks and petrol stations, eaten so many bizarre foods, and met hundreds of inspiring people.
I regularly find myself being asked “What have you learned traveling?” by people both during my travels and when I’m back. Frankly, the expectation that I even have an answer to that question, or that the secret to a fulfilling life was revealed to me thanks to traveling and that it could then be summed up in a few words for my answer kind of annoys me. Why? I don’t think I learned anything because of traveling.
Buying a ticket, packing your bags, and coming back in one piece from a foreign land where you don’t know anyone or even speak the language is definitely an act of courage worthy of praise. But it ends there. I didn’t learn anything else because I traveled. I did, however, learn so much while I was traveling.
I don’t think I am splitting hairs here. We are all different. We all learn differently and choose to live our lives in a way that best suits us. At least that is the goal, right?
The people that ask me about what I learned during my travel are always genuinely curious and well-meaning. Perhaps they have always wanted to do the same thing. Sometimes I get into a philosophical discussion with them about it, other times I don’t. I do always mention what I wanted to learn by traveling: 1) to become comfortable living a lifestyle characterized by a constant state of unpredictability, mainly because life is already very unpredictable, and 2) to become comfortable being by myself, also because life is unpredictable and you ultimately can’t depend on anyone but yourself for your own happiness and well-being.
I explain to them that I felt that the best way for me to learn this lesson was through extreme budget backpacking. This involved spending very little money, if any, a lot of hitchhiking, camping, staying with strangers, and generally just being open to all that life had to give me. This certainly isn’t the best approach for everyone. If I were different perhaps the lessons that I mentioned above could be learned by reading an impactful book or changing my life in another way. My personal experience is what was right for me and it’s what I wanted to do.
Having said all that, there are a few things that happened to me while traveling that I can sum up and organize in a somewhat traditional list format. I believe that if I offered these lessons without any context it’s possible that they wouldn’t sound travel related. Traveling is not the only way to learn what traveling teaches us.
#1. There are very kind and generous people everywhere. We all have a way of finding each other. After meeting just one kind and generous person, I was always introduced into their friend circle which, unsurprisingly, was filled with more incredibly kind and generous people. This is not a coincidence and is not limited to people met while traveling. This truth can be applied to friends, business partners, doctors, the handyman that comes to make a repair in my home, my partner, and absolutely everyone else. It’s important to focus on identifying these people, work on building a closer and better relationship with them, and then let go and trust them. Be positive and other positive people will find their way to you.
#2. Everything that is important, can and should fit into my backpack. Everything else is clutter. If I do not control clutter, it will own me. It’s important to work on reducing my belongings into whatever fits inside a backpack. Implement a “one-in/one-out” rule.
#3. Ask “why” everyday. Answer honestly. Be disciplined about it. Why am I doing what I am doing? There are no right or wrong answers. Really. It’s just about starting a conversation with myself. Perhaps I was “afraid to fail”--and that is why I did not explore an uncertain career path, booked a solo trip earlier, or went up to that stunning girl across the room that I kept making eye contact with all night. Once I start the conversation with myself, I can start the process of improving what I feel I need to change.
#4. Be fearlessly optimistic. Things always have a way of working out. Not only that, but they also have a way of working out for the best. Every so-called “mistake” or missed train, or ferry that I arrived too late for, or wrong turn that I took, led to a lesson learned or a person met that has added something remarkable to my life. If I wasn’t optimistic and didn’t make myself open to learning from everything, it would just end up being a “mistake.” There is no such thing as failure if I pull something from it. Failure is an acquired taste. Once I have made the habit of learning from failure, I will no longer feel its sting and will begin to crave implementing what I learned into my daily life. This is my choice.
#5. Choose “patience and empathy” to be my richness. I’m paid when I am open to other people, when I listen to how they live their life, when I listen to their needs and dreams. This isn’t the only way--in fact, the list is endless. Other similarly rich people see when I “spend” my patience and empathy and in turn spend theirs with me, which ultimately enriches me even more, and so continues the cycle. I may have accumulated a lot of my this wealth while traveling, but the earning potential is even greater back “home.” It’s important to open my home to strangers. Clear my schedule for someone I just met. You never know what they need me to listen to and how I can help them.
#6. There is always a way. Always remember that It’s not a matter of possibility, just a matter of difficulty. So much could be written about this that it almost draws a blank for me. The harder something is, the greater the corresponding level of required emotional intelligence, deep knowledge of how people work, and strong awareness of your personal strength and skills, you must have. It’s important to always set goals. Internalize the fact that there is the possibility for it to happen, no matter how small the possibility may be.
#7. Regularly take one minute to be silent, take several deep breaths, and internalize how fortunate I am to be under a strong roof and in full control. Doing this is a choice. In the future, it’s possible that I will become too busy, or convince myself that this is less important than it really is. If I do, I risk having to relearn the lesson, and go through all the difficulty and pain that it took to get it in the first place.
