My entire life, I’ve been told how amazing I am at everything I do.
It started pervasively with competitive swimming, which I tried for the first time at the age of 15. On day one, the coach of the club I joined told my Mum I was the “most talented swimmer he’d even seen and that if I never made it to the Olympics, he’d eat his hat”.
Well, he abandoned the club a few months later and I guess, has been enjoying the taste of his hat ever since.
Since then, I was told repeatedly how “gifted” I was at cross-country running, cycling, Business & Economics (my Teacher nearly cried when I declined to take it on for A2 level), Psychology, languages, make-up, triathlon (again, told I was “destined for the Olympics”), Art and Design.
But, how is this possible?
How can anyone be so “talented” in so many different areas? It seems more likely that people were just being nice and supportive.
Really, it makes me wonder whether or not we are doing more harm than good by providing everyone we know and like with positive and encouraging comments.
Simon Sinek would argue that this is a common dilemma for us millennials or “y generation” these days. That we were raised to believe we were capable of achieving anything and everything. That we were “special” and deserving of everything the world has to offer.
In my case, despite all of my inherent “talents”, I haven’t achieved anything at all worthy of being called a “success”.
No, in fact, I’ve ended up moving abroad twice and changed career paths faster than a hot knife through butter. All of which, has left me feeling depressed, confused and seriously doubting myself and my abilities.
Most recently, I’ve received ridiculously kind comments about my writing like “you must quit your day job to become a writer” and “you’re exceptionally gifted and should share your talent with the world” yet, instead of feeling inspired and encouraged, I've have been left feeling seriously paralysed by fear and disbelief.
I literally have writers block, despite my many ideas, because I struggle to believe what I’ve been told and worry about letting people down.
Psychologists like to call it “Imposter Syndrome”. But, in my opinion, you need to actually have “real” talent and success before that really applies.
Fear of failure and insecurity is the story of my life, unfortunately.
If you liked this, you might also be interested in my other articles:
Overcoming the Fear to Post about my Depression Online
7 Things I've Learnt as a Non-Muslim Fasting During Ramadan
