Do you hate me? 😞

Every time I have this notion, it takes me away to a world full of extreme questions with no one to answer them. When I ask you to be my friend, how you appear to me and behave,

Was that flash an occurrence? Yet why each time?
I sense you have feelings for me that are beyond explanation, which is why you drive me crazy. But why do you respond that you have nothing to say when I beg to be your friend? Does that imply that you love me? But why do you stare at me in such a foul mood? Does that mean you have no interest in me at all?
I believe I felt love for you and I have a deep affection for you, but I'm unwilling to admit it because I see Borden. Do you see me as loved in your eyes?
Why do you stare at me?
Are you making fun of me?
This is crazy.
I tried to show you how much I love you, but I'm scared you don't feel it. As a result, you make me feel ashamed of myself when I consider the unpredictable emotions that might make my smile disappear.
Even if you do, do you even care?
What emotions do you have?