When I was small and growing up, I was made to understand that with time everything will change, but as time goes on, I was beginning to understand that saying in a way that with time the true me would be revealed. And when I flash back at memory lanes, it was as if I'm looking at a story I never imagined myself living, and not just in appearance but in the decisions I have made, beliefs, and how life has shaped me, and maybe my younger self might not recognize me...
Sometimes when I sit back and ask myself, "Who am I really? Whether my younger self playing football barefoot and rolling tyres in the neighborhood saw me today, will he recognize me? I guess not.
Around fourteen to eighteen years back, life was very simple because most of my worries then were to play around, eat Mum's food, sleep, and make sure my sister ironed my school uniform because I always liked looking neat. During those moments, all my thoughts were on how to finish school, get a good and lucrative job, and grow tall, but nobody told me that those things come with a price and becoming an adult usually comes with endless bills, being stuck in traffic, different discussions that will benefit me, and responsibilities here and there, just like the way we were discussing last Friday during Sam's weekend hangout.
Everything changed for me the moment I realized that what does not kill will make me stronger, and time will always move on regardless of who I am. I learned how to be fearless and brave when I began to take key decisions that brought me out of comfort zone. I found the act of endurance after losing something dear to my heart. Anytime I have limitations or in an area, I usually get a better redirection, which made me realize that failure is a sign that I am trying; it only shows me that if I try again, I might hit the jackpot.
And also along this journey of life, I have come to realize that having a bank account filled with plenty of money is not only success but also having a peaceful mind, good health, being in a relationship that is important, and the courage, strength, and grace to keep standing on my feet even when things seem difficult, just like I made mention in my sci-fi prompt write-up last week.
So, at what point is my life no if I look back?
Yes, looking at who I am now, I will say that a lot of things have changed even though I am still in the process and God isn't done with me yet because I am not that child who usually ran around the street barefooted playing ball and rolling tyres will my friends, even though that inner boy is still there. I am a product of the laughter I share, the scars that I endure, all the opportunities that I have taken, and those "NO" that have set me on the right path and forced me to grow.
And yes, if my younger self could be me now, I am sure that he would be amazed and even happier because all those soft scripts that I imagined back then were not what I met, but it has fortified me with enough strength to carry on and write my own.
Thank you for reading.
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