Raising Children and not Report Cards

Growing up, I always heard people say “every student can learn” so often that it began to sound like a fact rather than an opinion. Teachers and lecturers said it during assemblies, and it was even my schools mottos as if repeating it enough times would make it true. But the longer I spent in classrooms, first as a student and later on in life , the phrase started to feel disconnected from what I was actually seeing and what i have experienced from a certain angle. In every class I passed through, the differences between students were obvious and I don’t mean this in a condescending way but some children understood things almost immediately and much faster than others when it came to certain subjects or even in general. A teacher would explain a concept once, maybe twice, and those students had already caught onto it. Others struggled no matter how carefully the lesson was broken down. They weren’t lazy, and they weren’t being sabotaged in any way.

They simply found it hard to understand, and even when they locked in during the summer and read so hard as a friend of mine did during a particular break, it still wasn’t enough, they would do better but they never reached those students that just found it easy or easier. Even at a young age, it was clear that we were not equal mentally/ academically. I remember teachers trying everything. Extra lessons after school, different explanations, group work, encouragement, warnings, praises , tough love. Some students improved a little, some stayed exactly where they were. There were students who simply wanted to learn, or at least wanted the results that learning brought and that was the good grades. They paid attention and practiced on their own. Others had no interest at all. No amount of motivational speeches or punishment changed that. I mean you could teach, but no learning was really happening.

As I grew older, I also noticed how personality shaped academic outcomes. Some people were naturally patient, comfortable sitting still for long periods, and able to focus on abstract material. Others were restless, practical, expressive, or impulsive. School rewarded the first group heavily and punished the second, even when the second group was intelligent in non-academic ways. Many of the students who struggled the most in class later became successful traders, technicians, artists, or entrepreneurs. School had labeled them as “weak students,” but life proved otherwise. Teachers, in all of this, were often unfairly blamed. I saw good teachers pour themselves into students who simply could not or would not respond. The idea that every student can learn survives because it feels kind and hopeful. Admitting limits feels harsh, almost immoral. But pretending those limits don’t exist doesn’t help anyone. It creates unrealistic expectations for teachers and shame for students who struggle, and confusion about what education is actually meant to do.

From what I’ve seen growing up, and now that I have a clearer vision of life and some experience , a more honest truth is this everyone can learn something, but not everyone is built for academic success as schools define it. Education I believe tries to make everyone equal, but i also believe it should also try to play to ones strength a kid might be terrible at math but be exceptional in other things like coding or sports, I feel sometimes parents also share the blame in this as instead of trying to understand their kids strengths and help tailor their growth towards that particular thing, they go with the safest, most familiar definition of success, the one society has repeated to them for generations. Good grades, the “right” subjects, a respectable profession. Many parents mean well, but in trying to protect their children from uncertainty, they end up forcing them into paths that don’t fit who they are, i know a friend of mine who is really shy and an introvert and he studied law(of all courses), and now he is really struggling in practice. What gets lost in that process is the child’s actual potential. A kid who struggles endlessly with mathematics or science subjects may internalize the idea that they are “not smart,” even while effortlessly solving problems on a computer, fixing gadgets, or understanding systems in a way others can’t . Another child who can’t sit still in class may be dismissed as unserious, while that same energy and awareness could make them exceptional in sports, leadership, or creative work. I’ve come to believe that education shouldn’t be about forcing everyone to reach the same academic peak. It should be about helping individuals discover where they are strongest and giving them the tools to develop that strength into something meaningful.