Hello!
I am very excited to announce that my 22 year old brother will be the first amongst all 10 of my siblings to bring new life into this world. I am excited as hell to be an aunt, and for my family to have something to be the positive center of attention.
It is unfortunate to say that not everyone in my family feels this. The other day I had a conversation with my mom and she is angry with him, she told me that is his burden to bear. She talked down on him and the mistakes he has made in his life and said he has nothing to give this child and why would he want to bring life into the world if he could not support it.
Maybe it's my naivety or that it infuriates me that my family sees new life as a burden instead of journey and a blessing. And mostly it's my mentality of "no one fucks with my siblings, not even my parents". But I respectfully disagreed.
No matter what someone goes through in their life, painful or pleasant, it is of value. My brother id loving, giving, kind and has a huge heart and just as a bonus he's freaking hilarious! He has tons to give another human being and he already does. Everyone makes "big mistakes", that puts them on the path to something better.
The value of a person will never be in what they have or haven't accomplished or in the mistakes they made, and to keep tally to determine another's live's path is so bizarre to me.
We are greater than any one thing or any series of things because we are infinite potential in a fleshy casing.
My mom always says that she wishes she never met my dad, and she talks about all the pain she's been through in her life. And it made me realize, she has allowed her pain to debilitate her. It also made me realize why I want to value so much my experience of life! I don't want to go through life knit picking the painful experiences I wish I would t have had or or wishing others wouldn't have had. That is not my MO. That hurts to much, I can't see anything else, and I can't appreciate the greatness that came of it. Every experience I've ever had made me so great right now, and will make me greater in the future, had brought such beautiful things and people into my life, and will bring more beautiful things and people in.
My mom is angry with me, she tells my sister, because she doesn't like the way I think. And I love her for it. It means to me I'm headed in the direction of open and free being, it means I'm my own. I have learned so much from my mom including how to be resilient, how to forgive, how to say fuck you!
So fuck you mom! I forgive you! And I'll be by next week to visit!
goddessj
