Weekly Engagement-WK 28 ~ Never expect validation from anyone
The year is closely coming to an end and it is no doubt that this year has been a year of rollercoaster. One moment, it feels like everything will be going back to normal, the next moment, it feels like hell has been let loose but irrespective of everything, I am grateful that myself, my family, and friends are among the living.
We made mistakes, we learned, relearned, and unlearned, we had victories, we had our sad and happy moments, and we had our darkest moments but in all, we came out triumphant with scars and lessons to continue moving and improving in the next year to come to be able to achieve our goals we were not able to achieve and those we have plans of achieving next year.
One of the biggest and most outstanding lessons I have learned this year is "Never expect validation from anyone". I know it is hard but until we realize that we own our lives and nobody can give the best validation about ourselves and our lives more than ourselves, we will be able to move forward in life. We most times want validation from friends, families, colleagues, and those around us but forget that these people can not be you and as such, can not have the same mind as you.
Because you are doing all you are doing doesn't mean, they would do the same for you or regard you more than anyone, most times you realize that you are just torn in their flesh because they can never and will never accept you.
For many years, I lived trying to get validation from people, trying to impress people even when so many times it cost my happiness because many of the things I was doing, I wasn't doing it for myself but for those people who I am looking out for their validation. The painful part was that at the end of the day, this set of people did not care about me or know my worth, because I was always at their beck and call and always accepting everything they said and wanted.
I ended up becoming a shadow of myself and constantly getting hurt because of their actions towards me.
I remember how one of them fought me because I refused to do her usual laundry like I used to do and run her unnecessary errands for her when I realized that I was never going to be accepted by her, or anyone in the circle. It took so much in me to stand my ground and refuse to be pushed around because I wanted her validation. It took so much in me to walk away from such a toxic friendship because I was beginning to see the light and that I did not need their validation to be who I am. I just needed my validation to be ME.
Here is the contest link