I was having a conversation with a friend, a guy precisely and he said "I have seen people come to me for help and j have helped the best way that I can, but the funny thing is, the little help I ask from these same people are always difficult for them to help me with" and days ago, one of them came to me for help again, and this time, I turned them down. I have made a promise, never to help anyone again".
I understood and felt his pain because I have had this issue and have once made such a promise but then I only said "Don't let them break you" It's okay to be unavailable to them but turn into a bad person because of ungrateful people is doing yourself harm than good and not the said people involve. I remember taking a look at someone and while I reminisced how I had to bend for this person, I told myself, even if I find this person at a crossroads, I am never going to help this person and do not mind extending it to their generation.
I left that place with pain, hurt, and regret and for those I thought of things I should and shouldn't have done for such persons, I thought of the other choices and better choices I should have made that wouldn't have put in such a mess and every day I wake up to think about it, every day I grew to hate and became who I never want to go back being. I saw my dark side emerging, I saw my past self emerging and I knew I was at the breaking point and could do the unthinkable if I don't put myself in order.
I thought of the many ways I could hurt the person, I thought of the many ways I could take out my pain and hurt on this person, I thought of the many ways I could take out my revenge on this person and as I think about such every day, I realized I was becoming another person, someone I never want to be, and worst of all, I was getting broken with each passing day as I continued to think about the incident.
I have understood one lesson, humans can be good or be bad, most people choose to be bad and even if their choice would hurt others, they do not care because that is who they are. Humans will always be humans, don't let their attitude break you, and don't let it stop you from being you.
They choose who they want to be, so let them, they also forget that not just them but every human on earth chooses who they want to be and anyone can be anything at any point in time if they choose to be but don't give them the chance of breaking you, they aren't worth it.
