Have you ever met someone who owns far less than you but is quite rich and abundant in terms of happiness, inner peace, and serenity?
If you have and you wonder why that is the case, it's mainly because that person acknowledges the many little and large blessings they have been blessed with. They also appreciate the many small milestones they achieve daily, which you, on the other hand, fail to recognize.
Working towards a big goal towards a better you is definitely great. However, if the pursuit of your huge, long-term goal is keeping you from living your present fully and happily and nurturing contentment for what you have, you are probably often going to feel unhappy and frustrated.
Often we become so involved in our goals and the pursuit of our big dreams that we fail to notice the many little pleasures surrounding us in the moment. Your son tugging at your shirt wanting you to play with him. The love of your life waiting for you to have dinner with her. Your kids trying to talk to you about their day at school. Your friends hoping to have lunch with you. There are lots of token of happiness to be found in our daily routine which if we hold on to, recognize and appreciate can really make us happy. Sadly, many of us fail to do that in the pursuit of something bigger, shinier and seemingly more amazing.
I am not saying dreaming big or setting big, meaningful goals is bad. You should strive to achieve them. However, while setting goals that you would love to cross off your bucket list, you must also focus on the little pleasures life has to offer because happiness does not just come from the life-altering and groundbreaking events. It is rooted in appreciating and enjoying each moment of your life and acknowledging the many tiny victories you meet on your journey to big success.
The ability to be happy with what you have is precisely the reason why you will find people earning far less than you that are more content. While we believe that being more educated, more financially successful and having a better professional career are indicators of happiness, recent research by Raj Raghunathan who works at The University of Texas at Austin’s McCombs School of Business proves otherwise.
According to his research, we measure happiness by the wrong yardsticks.
For instance, if you get a gigantic raise in your salary this month, you are likely to be happy for a month or two or even four. However, after that, you are likely to get used to that salary and are likely to want another jump. To keep increasing your happiness, you are likely to want one jump after another. The old hedonic treadmill strikes again. It seems that our present culture is programmed to seek more and more.
Unfortunately, achieving happiness does not work that way. The journey towards your goals takes time and is often accompanied by setbacks and unfortunate experiences too. If you keep measuring happiness by the fulfillment of a goal or the procurement of something, you are likely to feel depressed when things don’t go to plan. If you think this way, the next time you encounter a setback or when you find the journey to your goal becoming too long and laborious, you are likely to give up on it and feel upset in the process.
This won’t be the case if you nurture gratitude, contentment, and mindfulness. If you start living your life fully by enjoying each little victory and pleasure. If you appreciate the many amazing gifts you have been blessed with, you will find it easier to feel happy from within all the time.
Your blessings will pull you towards your present and shift your focus from what you don’t have and are missing on to what you have and can enjoy. So even if you lose an important client, you will be happy that at least you have a loving family to support you. And even if you are unable to achieve a certain target on time, you will be thankful for having supportive friends to lean on.
A tale of two brothers
I personally know of two brothers who nurture different approaches towards money and happiness, and their approaches play quite a monumental role in shaping their emotional well-being.
The younger brother moved to Canada. He has a flourishing business, a loving wife, and 3 beautiful children. He is a good husband and father but he often misses out on spending time with his family mainly because he is too busy working on expanding his business.
From the many encounters that I have had with him and from what others tell me about him, he is quite frustrated from within and isn’t happy with his life. His life mainly revolves around his work, making more money and achieving his financial goals and that is the major reason why he feels agitated almost always. This man was unable to attend his father’s funeral on time mainly because he was too busy to attend that important phone call on time. He regretted being too busy later on and still cries thinking about the time he couldn’t make it to his beloved dad’s funeral.
The other brother is quite the opposite. He lives in a less developed country, has a business that makes far less than his younger brother, and has a loving wife with 3 lovely children. Even though he is making far less than his brother, he is quite happy where he is.
Why is that so? Because this man does not fail to acknowledge the many tiny victories and blessings he enjoys every single day. He spends time with his family, drops his daughter off to school, spends quality time with his ailing mother, and offers his gratitude for all that he has every single day. It is his attitude and approach towards life that has helped him manifest a happy life for himself.
Happiness is not at the end, it is in every step
If you feel frustrated, stressed and unhappy most of the time, analyze your attitude towards your life and your goal. Chances are you are either crazily devoted to fulfilling your big dream that you neglect everything else. Or you are finding it difficult to achieve what you aspire to have and that’s keeping you from being happy in the present.
Either way, you are missing out on a lot that life has to offer you. You are missing out on friends, family, hugs, kisses, happy picnics, squeals of laughter, and stories of joy. You overlook the chance to just live in the moment and appreciate it.
Dreaming big and having huge goals is fantastic; there is no reason to abandon them but you should also make time for yourself so you can really appreciate the beauty of life. Your goal is likely to seem less meaningful to you once you accomplish it.
You will then find yourself running after something else and then something else after some time. This chase won’t stop but if you believe happiness is only to be found behind your next goalpost, chances are you will never find it. Happiness can be achieved and enjoyed by being content and grateful for what you have and all that you have.
Be grateful for the little things and pleasures you get to enjoy; those mini victories, the small gestures of appreciation, the fleeting moments of closeness with someone you love because that is life. Don’t let the vision of your big dream blind you towards what is in front of your face.
If you start being happy in your present by nurturing gratitude for it, you will soon find yourself feeling more content and peaceful within. Not only will this make it easier for you to live your life but you will also draw more amazing experiences towards you. Like attracts like, so if your thoughts are abundant in happiness and positivity, you will only draw more of it towards you.