Things are never as we think, well rarely. We plan our life, the day, the week, the year, but one day you discover that you lump your breast. You had never felt it before, maybe because you had never put yourself in the position you are in today.
Yes, this is my story, a story full of illusions, of things planned for a future that will never come. I can only say in my favor that I have no resentment for what I did not live, I am only grateful for the life I had to live until the beginning of my death.
I am a country woman, I like flowers, vegetables, the rainy air, the birds singing. I used to spend hours waiting on a rock to see the best sunset in the world. There was always...
When I turned 25 I decided to retire from the city and come to live where I could feel free of any obstacle between me and nature. Parents and siblings only God knows who they are, as far as I know, I was given as a baby in a convent where I grew up full of love from as many people as there were there.
When I turned 18 I decided to follow my life and find out about the things that were happening in the world and that had no explanation before my eyes. That's how I dedicated myself to writing about people's experiences... today it's my turn to write about my own experience.
That's why I came to the country, it's a quiet place that I got for rent. It is a place on a hill, with greenery everywhere, in a cabin whose walls you can see the love they had when they were built. It is comfortable, with high ceilings, with small glass windows above where the bed is supposed to be, so you can see the moonlight at certain times of the night.
It is a privilege to be able to spend the rest of my life within these four walls and with this ceiling covering my life.
Going back to the beginning, I could feel the small lump under my breast and I decided to go to the city so that they could clinically define what I should do. I put myself in the hands of science. What is diagnosed is not good. This has been in my life for a long time without me noticing it.
He has been an intruder in my body that I never perceived, much less invited him to stay. What you have suggested is to do a little of this and a little of that. Since I have not come to bore you with such sad details, I can tell you that this thing despite all the effort it put into it continued to install itself in me.
Besides being there without my consent it also invited others of its kind to install itself beyond my body and start making all the changes it could think of. Besides nothing was good since they took up residence in me.
I went back to my cabin, I don't want to chase an impossible anymore. I let him go on as he pleases. I put up all the resistance they put up to me. I was the best patient in the world... nothing worked.
I stay up nights waiting for the moment to see the moon pass through my little roof window in the cabin. There it is, at last, she came to say goodbye. I feel like I'm flying, on wings borrowed from some fallen angel, perhaps one that came to my little hut and came to pick me up.
I see from above an inert body lying on the bed, I think it's familiar... yes, that body was mine, this angel has come for me but has given me little wings, and from above I can see the cabin, the hill, everything that once tucked me in is now laid at my feet.
I'm leaving, I'm leaving just as I came, someone left me in the convent and today someone is carrying me away unseen. My wings take me to a place I can't see, I can only distinguish the passage towards a light and I can't see anything else. I am left with a feeling of peace and joy because the light fills my life and my heart...
This is an imaginary story that may well be lived by someone at some point. I base it on my own experiences with this terrible disease, both personally and in other people. That although it has a cure in many cases in others it does not respect anything and ends its evil in the human being.
