Lying has many listless negative connotations, yet, literally 100% of people do it. But, why? That list is also ad infinitum. Lying in general is not bad. It's only bad when you use for bad things. It's actually very powerful for success in life. So, as always, let's delve.
I've always said there is two real qualifications to lying and if you can't wrap your head around it, then you have no business lying about anything important. This immediately brings the author into full focus of questioning the reliability of the narrator but I can tell you, he's not all that bad, just misunderstood.
Rule #1 You have to lie like you're telling the truth.
This is the easiest to understand and I'm sorry if you don't get it. You have to tell the story good enough that you'd believe it. Remove your bias about your vanity and listen to the story you tell. If you wouldn't believe it, doesn't mean that it won't pass, but it's a good goal to set.
Picture Tony Montana. "Me? I always tell the truth, even when I lie...Say Goodnight to the Bad Guy!"
Rule #2 All lies are based on some aspect of truth.
This one is where it gets complex because it all depends on what kind of lie you're going to tell. The biggest lies I've pretty much told are "Where are you?"
I'm big on this one. I'm very narcissistic, or so I'm told, so when I'm out doing stuff, I'm always going to make it sound more exciting than it is (this is important to Rule #3). It doesn't mean I'm hiding what I'm doing, it just means it's a story in progress that I'm anticipating will be a good story later so I'm not telling you exactly where I am, but I may tell you somewhere I just was before I was there.
The Chris Rock Joke
"Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.
Men, we lie all the time.
We lie so much it's damn near language.
To call a man out for lying is like playing basketball with a retarded man and calling him for double dribble. You gotta let some stuff slide.
A man's lie is 'I'm at Tony's house. I'm at Kenney's house.'
A woman's lie is like 'it's your baby.'"
That's a pretty accurate description of how I, as a man, tell lies. to hopefully gain some positivity back to my repertoire.
Rule#3: The lie, eventually, becomes a reality
This is what I've noticed. Eventually, the lie, if you keep telling it, manifests itself, so make it a good one! I've told lies about my work experience in meetings and eventually got experience that I lied about. I mean, like, down to the months that I told in the lie.
Does it mean I was wrong to tell that lie? I don't know. I don't feel wrong. I feel like I deserve some recognition really. Just like Zuckerberg in front of the board of Harvard in the movie Social Network
"You deserve recognition?"
"I believe I've pointed out some pretty gaping holes in your system."
This is why lying for me is only for good. My lies are never intended to hurt people. Sometimes I do it because I love you.
Jon Cryer in Two and a Half Men to his son: "When a boy becomes a man, and that's what you're becoming. Right, Charlie?"
Charlie Sheen: "Oh, yeah, a man."
Jon Cryer: "He has to start protecting the women in his life from certain things..."
Charlie Sheen: "Like the truth."
Sometimes my mom will ask me how I'm doing with something bad in life that recently happened and I tell her everything's fine. Everything is not fine, but my mother doesn't need to know that. She is stressed about me and life enough and I love her so sometimes, I lie.
If it's something that might be upsetting at the time but in the grand scheme of things, they won't care later, I'll lie. It doesn't mean it's necessarily bad but you may be on edge already or anything really. It's a, 'I'd rather ask for forgiveness later rather than now' kind of thing.
Rule number 3 always comes true on that one too. Everything eventually is fine.
Conclusion
The rest of my lies are centered around story telling. I may tell stories of my past in some grandiose manner of stretching certain elements of the truth but the underlying message of "I had fun" or "I'm innocent" is still true but it just didn't exactly happen that way. I'm just telling it this way to make you laugh a little. I'm making you laugh by laughing at me and some stories need a little help.
Lying to gain that job wasn't wrong. I had the experience, just not at that time yet but I had other similar experience in the same field so I had a general understanding. I gained a job, they gained a great worker. I told them later and they told me they were "glad I lied".
The line of right and wrong is absolutely a moral thing but lying is not absolutely immoral.
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