Sitting on my couch at home, my mind wanders between thoughts that always end up with her, the reason for my depressed state in the last few weeks. I don't know why I said so many things to her after I saw her dancing at that party we went to together. I may have overstated things, after all, what is a simple dance? Rossane was having fun and I spent the whole party sitting around, drinking. Wasn't it natural for her to have fun if she had a boyfriend who couldn't dance?
At the party I just watched her from the distance of my table. Every time she looked at me she smiled and invited me with a wave of her hand to the dance floor. With my glass in my right hand, I smiled back and told her no, she should enjoy herself. Several songs went by and the night progressed unstoppable. The DJ began to play hits from the 80's, a sign that the dawn was approaching. The next thing I remember is the peculiar sound of drums of the song Maniac. Things began to distort in my mind from that moment on, as a long sip of my Johnny Walker was the last thing I retain as a clear image.
Then flashes. And her in the distance. A flickering light. Her dancing possessed. Her curls bouncing in space. The disturbing light again. My eyes burning. Her legs. My pupils adjusting to the flickering light. And to her divine legs. Her ebony body draws circles with her limbs. Rossane looks like an angel. All around static. She devours glances. I feel a warmth then. People smile at her. My blood burns. I take momentum and get up as best I can. I feel fatigued. I sweat. That's when the light comes back unwelcome and I stumble over a table of a couple.
The next thing I remember is Rossane's smiling face and next to her a man with long hair combed in a perfect braid. They both hold out their hands to help me up from the floor. Again I feel helpless. With one swipe I dodge the help and stagger to my feet. I then take Rossane by the hand and lead her towards the entrance of the bar we were in. I don't remember exactly what I said to her, but in my bearded state I must have felt insecure, so nothing good must have come out of my head. She asked me to calm down, but I didn't listen. I was upset. She got so upset with the last thing I said that she called for a cab and made me go home alone.
I have called her several times and she hasn麓t answered. I went to her apartment and she wasn't there. I have no idea where Rossane might be. I wonder if her silence is punishment for alcohol-induced immaturity. I don't know if she will come back, but I don't know if I should keep insisting. Two months with her and she remains a mystery to me, because since I met her one morning at a fair in the city center, my world has remained static while she dances. I must learn to dance...
Sentado en el sill贸n de mi casa, mi mente divaga entre pensamientos que siempre concluyen en ella, el motivo de mi estado depresivo de las 煤ltimas semanas. No s茅 por qu茅 le dije tantas cosas luego de que la vi bailando en esa fiesta a la que fuimos juntos. Puede que haya sobredimensionado las cosas, a fin de cuentas, 驴qu茅 es un simple baile? Rossane se divert铆a y yo me pas茅 toda la fiesta sentado, bebiendo. 驴No era natural que se divirtiera si ten铆a un novio que no sab铆a bailar?
En la fiesta solo me dediqu茅 a observarla desde la distancia de mi mesa. Cada vez que me miraba sonre铆a y me invitaba con un gesto de su mano a la pista. Yo con el vaso en la diestra le devolv铆a la sonrisa y le dec铆a que no, que disfrutara ella. Pasaron varias canciones y la noche avanzaba indetenible. El Dj comenz贸 a largar 茅xitos de los a帽os 80, se帽al de que se acercaba la madrugada. Lo pr贸ximo que recuerdo es el peculiar sonido de drums de la canci贸n Maniac. Las cosas comenzaron a distorsionarse en mi mente a partir de ese momento, pues un largo sorbo de mi Johnny Walker fue lo 煤ltimo que conservo como imagen clara.
Luego flashazos. Y ella a lo lejos. Una luz parpadeante. Ella bailando pose铆da. Sus rizos rebotando en el espacio. La luz molesta otra vez. Mis ojos que arden. Sus piernas. Mis pupilas adapt谩ndose a la intermitencia de la luz. Y a sus piernas divinas. Su cuerpo de 茅bano dibuja c铆rculos con sus extremidades. Rossane parece un 谩ngel. Todo alrededor est谩tico. Ella devoradora de miradas. Siento un calor entonces. La gente le sonr铆e. Me quema la sangre. Tomo impulso y me levanto como puedo. Me siento fatigado. Sudo. Es entonces cuando la luz vuelve inoportuna y tropiezo con una mesa de una pareja.
Lo pr贸ximo que recuerdo es el rostro de Rossane sonriente y junto a ella un hombre con cabello largo peinado con una crencha perfecta. Ambos me extienden sus manos para ayudarme a levantar del suelo. Otra vez me siento impotente. De un manotazo esquivo la ayuda y me incorporo dando tumbos. Tomo entonces a Rossane de la mano y la llevo hacia la entrada del bar en el que est谩bamos. No recuerdo exactamente lo que le dije, pero en mi estado de beodez deb铆 sentirme inseguro, por lo que nada bueno debi贸 salir de mi cabeza. Ella me pidi贸 que me calmara, pero no le hice caso. Estaba alterado. Ella se molest贸 tanto con lo 煤ltimo que le dije que pidi贸 un taxi y me hizo regresar solo a casa.
La he llamado varias veces y no contesta. Fui a su departamento y no estaba all铆. No tengo idea de d贸nde pueda estar Rossane. Me pregunto si su silencio es el castigo ante la inmadurez provocada por el alcohol. No s茅 si volver谩, pero tampoco si debiera seguir insistiendo. Dos meses junto a ella y sigue siendo un misterio para m铆, porque desde que la conoc铆 una ma帽ana de feria en el centro de la ciudad, mi mundo se ha mantenido est谩tico mientras ella danza. Debo aprender a danzar...
Text by the author, 
Cover image from Alex Simplifier on Pexels.
Originally written in spanish and translated with Deepl.
All rights reserved 漏, 2023.
