I Never Knew My Feet Could Weep
Hello Lovelies
My name is Ernestine, with me is my lovely daughter Zohey, I have just scraped through the worst time of my life, I felt as if a horse has kicked me in the face. I have gone through casino addiction, divorce, bankruptcy, death of my second husband, but this rocked every cell of my being and I learned that. . .
Your garden is a wonderful, lifelong sincere friend, who will support you in every conceivable manner; it will take care of you, in the kindest way. You learn as you go, you grow, you flow and learn all about what is important and what to let go.
In the silence of your garden, you will find inspiration, hope, joy, truth, direction and comfort; Healing for your body and your heart.
Your view of people will change as you grow with your garden; you are less critical and more or less see them as gifts, waiting to be discovered and appreciated; that alone makes anyone a happier and kinder person. I know this, because my garden and loving Zohey my lovely dog child, changed me into a calmer human being
We started our garden eleven years ago, when I bought Zohey, the garden was for her, to play in. I wanted a garden for my sixty kilogram daughter that we both could enjoy; a loving beautiful environment that is safe, secure, and full of joy; fulfilling my first task as a proud mother who dreamed of having an amazing, fun and loving relationship with her daughter. I love Zohey so much that often when I just look at her, tears well up in my eyes, I always tell her you are the greatest gift I have ever given myself.
I bought Zohey because I wanted a child that I could enjoy, that did not belong to the system, but to me. No school, No Religion and No Education, just pure joy. Every morning I wake Zohey with kisses, every night I kiss Zohey into the land of dreams.
Together we created a fairy garden with six hundred and eighty tires, a place where a sturdy girl can run and play without ruining the plants. We model on Fiverr for various companies and individuals, we travel to art galleries, we do mountain climbing, we photograph wildlife, we visit charity events, we eat pizza at various restaurants, and visit schools showing children how to take care of a dog child; People love photographing Zohey where ever we go and she enjoys posing for them.
Five months ago Zohey returned to my heart with unexpected heart failure, the suddenness of heart failure after we have gone through so much with her skin problem, freeked me out and I had to grab and hold onto our garden, I thought my whole world has just been uprooted and turned into an emotional mess, everything seemed blank and I could not even think, every cell in my body was crying, it felt as if the tears were dripping from my hair. I never knew my feet could weep. The thought that I would never kiss or hold Zohey again made me irrational, placed me in a place I never knew existed; I sobbed so much I had to shove a towel in my mouth and shut the doors in order not to disturb the neighbors. I thought I lost my mind, my reason for living, for waking up every morning.
Has anybody sobbed like that? Has anyone felt so alone, so lost, so not knowing who you are and where to go; so small on the ocean of your own emotions?
My world is much clearer now and at a later stage I will write some articles that may help someone else who is going through a similar experience, I adjusted my diet, fitness program and turn to our garden daily for well-being and emotional guidance.
The one thought that keep me sane is that Zohey is loved, because I love her; I kissed Zohey into my world and I kissed Zohey out of her lovely suit back into my heart, and in truth Zohey has never left my heart; Zohey has just outgrown her stunning outfit and her loving presence is constantly with me.
One of the most important things I learned from loving Zohey is that every day can be Christmas, fun, harmonious and peaceful, and I covered the trees in our garden with silver painted pine cones, as a reminder what an amazing gift Zohey is to me, each and every day.
The second most important lesson I have learned from loving Zohey, is to smile. Smile at life, at situations, at the world, your smile lights up the room that you are standing in it makes the invisible visible and new choices are available. Now I step into our garden breathe deeply and say: “I Bless this day in every way, and will be a gift to someone today”.
I was about to buy Zohey a new coat when Brent Atwater, the pet communicator brought it to my attention, that at some stage Zohey will have to drop the new body too, by an accident or an illness, why go through the same process again, why not learn how to enjoy Zohey in a new way?
Now I kiss Zohey’s pictures that I mosaicked on to the walls of our house several years ago every morning and say with a big smile on my face “Good morning lovely, I love you more and more each day. The beautiful days that we share will carry us to new experiences, I am forever grateful for the opportunity to have held you in my own two arms, knowing that true beauty and innocence are real”.
I have started to make cement planters from all Zohey’s towels and throws reinforcing her presence in our garden, I don’t paint them; I find the soft grey color of concrete very soothing and stabilizing. I love the smell of wet cement it represents new development to my senses.
I invite you to join me on this journey as I learn how to enjoy and love Zohey as a spiritual being, as we continue to grow together, I encourage you to share your experiences with me if you have traveled on this path, or are on it now in some way. In this short time without the presence of Zohey’s physical body to hug and hold, I have come to the conclusion that there is no sorrow, it is just unexpressed love.
I received a book written by 
My life before Zohey in a nutshell:
I went to Art, Music and Ballet school from a very early age, when I left school I found a job in marketing. Then moved on to short term insurance, eventually owned my own brokerage, got tired of what I was doing, sold it. I continued marketing in diverse fields such as scrap metal, discounting, importing and exporting potatoes, also got involved in realty.
I wanted to stay at home, although everyone called me a great marketer, in truth I am just a great listener and an introvert at heart; I quit my jobs, bought Zohey and built a garden and a life of my dreams
New Beginnings
I ventured onto the online world and learned much with Zohey sleeping on my lap or sitting on my hip, including photography. Zohey’s footprints are still on some of the backdrops in my photography studio, and are thinking of framing them.
If you Steemit on the following
Spicy food, vegetarian meals, natural skincare, gardening, repurposing, new inventions, essential oils, pet friendly stuff, science, technology, juicing, art, and photography, send us your articles, that is the kind of information that interest us.
We are very enthusiastic to be part of the https://steemit.com, have heard so many great things on YouTube about this community of amazing, gifted and innovative individuals, helping each other change and enrich the world one article at a time, thank you in advance for accepting us and we look forward to meeting you, read your posts and to be as helpful as we can be. We Love the whole concept.
Thank you
ZE – Zohey & Ernestine
PS: Special thanks to 
PS: Last but not least a sincere thanks to my brother Henning and his wife Elizna for their support and kindness as if Zohey is a real human child, you give abundantly from your hearts, thank you.
https://www.fiverr.com/sayyouthjuice
https://twitter.com/Advertise2win
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ernestine-manowarda-7873b868/
https://www.zazzle.com/advertise2win
https://giphy.com/channel/ernestinemanowarda
https://www.lensculture.com/ernestine-manowarda
https://www.facebook.com/ernestine.manowarda
