Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
- George Carlin -
It probably seems a little out there, I mean an army tank? What possible purpose could I have for an army tank? They're heavy, loud, lacking in anything resembling comfort, don't have automatic windows, window-wipers or heated side mirrors, have barely any legroom, are difficult to reverse-park and when maintenance is required do you think a tank mechanic operates on every street corner? Well, they don't. All that and I haven't even mentioned that they have terrible fuel economy.
The negatives go on and on however I want one. Nah, let's call it what it is, I need one.
Last week, I was on my way to work and was stopped at a red-light intersection. I was the fifth car in line. When the light went green the car at the front didn't move. The light went orange and then the car took off - only that first car got through the intersection. I put it down to first the driver looking at a phone and not paying attention to the change of traffic lights. What the bloody fuck! #WTBF
The cars idled up to the white line to wait out the traffic-light sequence. I was now forth in line. The sequence took about four minutes to cycle through to a green light once again.
I waited, not so patiently, annoyed that because that first driver wasn't paying attention four other drivers' lives were on hold. When the light went green the first car in the line moved off...but the second one didn't move, again I assumed because they were checking Facebook to see how many likes they got on the post they made about their fucken Corn Flakes or some such fuckassery. For some reason, the third car in line, right in front of me, didn't lay on the horn...When I realised what was going on though, I did. The stationary car moved off but by then the light was red and myself and the car in front of me were stopped once again. Fuckdidly fucken fuckerdoodalistic fuckballs!
Now can you see why I need an army tank?
By that point I was more than a little annoyed. Not quite apoplectic, that's not generally my style and I'm a normal person after all, but I was mad enough to drive an army tank over someone's fucken car to get through the traffic lights.
The thing of it is, people have lives, things to do and places to be, and when other people impede that process because they're not paying attention at the traffic lights...well, people become late, and frustrated. It's happening more and more these days, along with inattentive driving and other such things that make the roads a dangerous place to be; I mean here in Australia and in cities - I have no clue what it's like where you are. With the increase in population and vehicles on the road, inattentiveness has no place, but it's on the rise. But back to my army tank.
I need an army tank so that, in cases like the above situation, I can simply drive over the cars in front and be on my way; it makes perfect sense.
Oh come now, seriously? Do you really think I'd just drive over another car like that?
You must think I'm bloody bonkers! There's no way I'd drive over a car like that...I'd drop the main gun first and put a fucken shell into the car, you know, to soften it up a little bit, and then drive over it.
Ok, clearly I'm joking here. But seriously, am I really joking here?
Nah, seriously I am only joking. But am I?
Let's just go with maybe I'm only joking. Because I'm probably not joking.
I guess the point is moot though, I mean, I don't have an army tank. Or do I?
Ok, I don't really have an army tank at all. Probably do though.
I wish I did have an army tank though, because my run to work would be so much easier! I think I'd not worry so much about car park and shopping cart dents if I had an army tank either; just think how liberating not having to worry about that would be. OK, I'd probably still worry about it and be careful with my army tank because that's how I am but I'd be able to blast the hell out of anyone who opened their door on my tank right? I mean, I'd only blast them a little bit, not totally.
I'm only joking about blasting people with my tank. No I'm not.
I'm serious about the situation on the roads; I work in trucking and heavy transport and when things go wrong, people die. It happens a lot here in Australia and, tragically, there seems to be no way to address it - people don't seem to care. Driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs, speeding, driving tired, drivers with insufficient skills, stupid fuckers and inattentiveness are the main culprits and it's alarming to think I share the roads with those drivers.
I spend a lot of time driving and I see so many issues, near-misses and accidents; it's getting out of hand in all aspects and inattentive driving is probably the worst culprit I guess, that and driving under the influence of drugs and alcohol. I have no idea what the answer to the problem is as road-safety training and advertising campaigns don't seem to have any effect. I don't know if me having an army tank is the answer to the problems either although I'd love to have one and teach a few people a lesson with a friendly blasting or running over.
What have your observations been? If you don't drive a car or live in an area that has very few cars then you won't have an observation and that's ok, don't comment. But, if you do drive, have you noticed things getting worse in your city? Is inattentive driving a thing there as well? Do you want an army tank? It's ok, if you want one you're allowed to say so - no one will judge you. Feel free to comment about the situation on the roads in your city and in your experience as a driver. Also, if you want to buy an army tank let me know, we might be able to get a deal if we all by one at the same time.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
I took the image in this post personally.
