Wander

“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.” - T.S. Eliot

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Anything. That's what I could have done. The world lay at my feet, mine to do with what I wished; travel anywhere, do anything with anyone for as long as I wished. Mine, you're all mine, Then I woke up and yep, not mine at all.

That's how my day started, Sunday 4th July; thoughts of wanting to do anything and everything, but the reality of not being able to. Still, I woke up, was alive, and that was something and so I figured I'd find a few more somethings to go on with over the day.

But first...Sleep in. [Come on, it's Sunday after all.]

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Two hours later I got out of bed to start the day - 0700, that's 7am, and my first thought was damn it's cold but a few moments later the heater kicked in and things began to feel more temperate. I hit random play on my liked songs playlist and as my Bluetooth speaker connected filling my house with music I prepared my breakfast.

I'd planned one of my go-to breakfasts this morning, a simple and easily prepared meal of smashed avocado on toasted rye; super easy but healthy too.

I mix in some crumbled feta cheese, very finely chopped red onion and mint to the avocado then slather on the toast. I drop a poached egg or two on top, add more crumbled feta, shaved radish, chopped mint, a squeeze of lemon and ground salt and pepper and one has a legit meal to start the day. I added sautéed mushrooms and grilled haloumi cheese on the side today because...Well, it's anything can happen Sunday.

Whilst eating I contemplated my day and whilst I should have been cleaning guns and making ammunition I decided a hike, a long one, would be a better option. Sure, it's cold but that's nothing some extra layers of clothing and a beanie can't solve right? It was settled, a hike.

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It was muddy and I was vexed. OK, I actually wasn't, but I have wanted to use the word vexed in a post for a long time so boom there it is. I was vexed. [Not really.] I knew it would be muddy as it's rained all week and I knew I'd have to attend to the boots later but right about then I didn't really care; it was just me and the trail.

I don't generally see people when I'm out and about, a few maybe, but it's not common. Today the cold kept everyone away so it was just me and the birds although I saw a kangaroo off in the scrub so I'm counting him too. It was pretty peaceful and just what I needed I think, the peace and quiet plus the hiking.

I find the rhythm of walking relaxing and it tends to clear my mind which I welcome because my mind tends not to shut up off sometimes. I've had a few things bouncing around up there in my head for the last little bit and a chance to silence it with a decent hike, even for a short while, was welcome.

Six hours later I arrived home feeling refreshed in body and mind, and a little more clear than when I had left home for the hike; My legs were fatigued, but it felt good.

After some boot cleaning I sat down for a bite of late-lunch, nothing fancy: A handful or two of trail mix, slice of pizza left over from last night [I made pizza for my dinner Saturday night] and an orange. A wacky lunch but it filled a hole and wasn't too unhealthy.

I sat on the couch with my book, put my feet up as my legs were hurting a little due to still getting over an operation a month ago, and read for a while...Until I fell asleep.

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I did some other things over the later part of the day and felt like it was reasonably productive although the best thing about it was that hike. I really needed that time to...I want to say heal, but that's not really the right word. I guess maybe re-centre is a better way to put it. I get lost in the activity of walking, of hiking, and in getting lost I'm also found, like, I find inner peace, clarity and contentment. So, I get lost a lot.

J.R.R. Tolkien said, "not all who wander are lost," and I think it's a cool phrase. Being in nature is one of the most valuable things I am able to do in life and no matter what happens in my day, week, year and life if I can wander in wilderness and natural places I feel happy. I do not see wandering in such places as a luxury, more a requirement to support and nurture my spirit; so maybe healing is the right word after all?

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I'm holding the couch down again right now. There's a Formula One race on in Austria and I'm waiting for it to come on the TV. My legs feel pleasingly sore from the rigors of the hike today, my home is warm and I'm comfortable, my soul too. Thanks to that hike.

Where did you wander this weekend, or where would you like to wander?

Here's a little track about wandering in the wilderness.