It was in the second week of September 1987 when the most momentous days of my life occurred. I'd been invited by a high-school friend to join her at the annual state fair.
I said no.
That's when she said there was a group of ten or twelve of her friends from her hairdressing school going.
I said yes.
I went, met the girls, and spent a pretty magical day at the state fair because of one in particular, an almost 16 year old blonde girl called Faith. That's when my life changed, when I changed forever.
We spent six years together before we married and have spent our lives since together and very happy.
This September will mark the thirty forth year of our relationship and in that time we've had so many good times, stunningly amazing moments, and of course, some not so good moments also. Either way, no matter what has come we've done things together, stood side by side through it all.
We've been very happy and whilst I'm a total idiot at times, she loves me and remains by my side, loyal and passionate about our relationship; As am I in return. It's a nice way to be, it's been a good life, and I'd not wish it any other way.
Today she dropped into my work for lunch; It was nothing special, just lunch at a little caf茅 near by and a couple hours chatting about a few things we have in front of us currently.
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I took this at the Singapore F1 GP. She doesn't always smile, but I'm pleased that when she does I'm there to see it and it's often because of me.
Faith told me about a woman who had asked her how we make it work, always seem happy and so in love and what our secret is and we chatted about that a bit.
This woman has had a string of failed relationships and was looking for the secret to making it all work, the secret we apparently know. We've been asked that a lot over the years actually and the answer is always the same. There is no secret.
In our opinion our relationship works because we are passionate about it and each other. We are giving, humble and kind, flexible and honest. We understand give and take and avoid selfishness and arguing over money - That's a big one.
We have fun and laugh a lot and stand side by side facing adversity together and celebrating success together. We are also two whole people as individuals not, two halves making up a whole as is often said. That's important.
We're also friends which I think is one of the biggest factors to relationship-success; For us at least.
We disagree at times too; Have fights, argue and require some distance...I usually head out to my workshop, take some time then realise how much of an idiot I am and then...Make up sex!
Our relationship isn't perfect, nothing is you know, but it's perfectly ours and we seem to make it work somehow. It's just as passionate as it was 34 years ago, we have just as much fun and have enjoyed our lives together completely.
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. - Friedrich Nietzsche
It's a simple phrase but has profound meaning; I think the man who quoted it knew what he was talking about, don't you? Friendship is essential to any good relationship or marriage and without it things become so much more difficult.
I hope the woman Faith told me about today finds what she's looking for but she may not, so many don't. I don't know why, I'm not a smart man, no Friedrich Nietzsche...But I know what Faith and I have done, and continue to do on a daily basis, to keep our relationship strong and am pleased to say she's my best friend.
How about you? What has worked or not worked in your relationships? How do you keep things on the right track, moving forward and passionate? I think the cool thing is that there's no secret and everyone does things differently; What works for us may not for you and vice versa...So how about you?
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.
Be well
Discord: galenkp#9209