Restrained but responsible

There's been times in which I've been tied down, confined or tethered and, despite it often been necessary like being tethered to a situation, course of action, task, or just being tied to working within set guidelines, it's generally made me feel restless; I like to roam.

Looking back, I can say some situations have left me feeling angry and I make no apology for it; my life is a journey of discovery and so it makes sense that along the way I've made mistakes, learned new things and done things better the next time and, besides, anger is a human trait and we all experience it - I don't believe it's healthy to deny it altogether. However, acting rashly when angry and not dealing with or restraining anger before making decisions and taking action, or just holding onto it for too long, is not generally productive and opens up the opportunity for other problems.

It's that last bit that I've learned along the way and as I've applied better thoughts attitudes and techniques to my life I've found better results and greater levels of contentment.

But...I'm currently feeling restrained, I'd say weighed down, but tied down suits my post-image better so I'll say that.

I have a few things going on down here, things I've purposely not spoken about on the blockchain, which have me very committed to a course of action. Other things seem on hold and for a man like me who likes to feel free and roam far and wide it's leaving me feeling discontent. The good thing about me is that I'm hard working, resolute, responsible and disciplined and so I do what I must, but the emotional toll is high, and so it's a constant struggle to maintain an equilibrium. My mini-getaways help, time with nature, reading, building Lego, movies, writing and other such things, but I am feeling restless to travel and it's that exact thing I don't have the ability to make happen right now.

I've travelled around the world and had some amazing adventures along the way. I can bring them to mind and literally feel the way I did at the time and whilst that feels so great, it always circles back to the fact that right now I can't wander the world as I have done in the past...and that confined feeling creeps in, and a little anger, I'll admit.

As I said earlier, this isn't the first time I've felt this way and I think it won't be the last, but with the way things changed in 2020 and the trips I had cancelled because of that situation all piled onto the commitments I have now and the lack of wandering...I'm feeling a little tethered to the realities of life...and watch my life slip a little more each day.

I am a diligent and hard working person, I know how to do difficult things, and therefore facilitate the situation here knowing that I'm doing exactly the right thing in doing so; regret makes for a poor companion and I'd not want to look back and feel I could have done more. But I'm allowed to feel other things too, the longing to travel, that freedom I feel when in outer countries going where my feet take me and experiencing life; it's that which I feel most in need of currently.

I know some of you have complex situations, are tethered to circumstances and scenarios that you would otherwise not choose, just like me; many of you probably have worse situations than I do I guess. I wonder, how do you support yourself emotionally and stay in a place that's conducive to forward progress and ultimate resolutions. Do you have hopes and dreams, goals and plans as I do and do you use them to focus and motivate? Maybe you fall in a heap and rise again through sheer will power?

Feel free to tell me about how you look after your personal wellbeing, stay focused through difficult times and still engage with your own life.