Hmm, well...I don't know Mary, I'm not sure I agree with a scientific approach to love and relationships. I mean if it works for you then great, but I think over-thinking of it isn't altogether wholesome. Boy/girl...Parts go together...Seems natural to me.

I don't mind logic and apply it to most things, but feelings have to come into it more I think. What I see around the place is a whole lot of selfish, narcissistic, egotistical and greedy people with a self-focused ethos to the exclusion of all others; A selfie society. Loving oneself is is required of course, but people seem to take that to the next level, missing the true point altogether.

I think reality shows, the consumerist and the throw-away society we live in doesn't help much either as people are too willing to cast something aside and look for the latest thing. Relationships included. That's partly why failed relationships are so prevalent.

Furthermore, people are conditioned to think that perfection is possible when in actual fact it is not...Botox lips and boob jobs won't bring perfection any more than a guy with a sleeve tattoo on his arm, a six pack of abs and a BMW paid for with credit...That's superficial interwebs stuff and that fades in time...No, people should instead seek connection, have respect for others, especially their love-interest, be humble and kind, generous and gentlemanly (in the case of men). People need to rediscover honesty, ownership of self and responsibility of actions. These things cannot be found in a test tube or petri dish in a lab. There's too much noise in society...People need to block it out and focus on their own life, not anyone else's...The internet isn't real, but people try to replicate the amazing lives of others they see on it...It's pathetic.

Humanity is losing its humanity and reading about how to manufacture love in a book may be interesting, but relationships happen in the real world, not on the pages of a book...Although the author thanks you for buying the book I'm sure.

I'm not saying logic is not important as it is, the same as learning some concepts in a book, but a person needs to apply it to their own thinking, how they see themselves, and then make the changes required, if any, to put themselves into the right position for the relationship.

It is interesting to note that for a person who has had many failed relationships there is always one common feature, in every single one of those relationships...That person! You know?

Faith and I have been together for thirty three years as you know and I can assure you logic has been applied over that time, but not as much as the other elements I mention...And certainly not at first. It was more emotional things that brought us closer together...Physical things too of course as looks, attraction, is critical, (despite me being challenged in that regard). Making Faith laugh was more important than the logical thought around whether I'm a good financial prospect, or potential father for instance.

We worked at our relationship early on, and throughout, but it didn't seem like work, it was just life and love and still is. Passion can't be found in a book and if one has to read how to be generous, giving and selfless...Well, they're on the back foot already.

I'm not a smart man Mary, more of a blunt instrument type...Maybe I'm just too stupid to know about the value of compatibility maximisation...But what I do know is that relationships between a man and a woman shouldn't require scientists, *just in my humble and dumb-guy opinion anyway. What I also know is that love should be easy, hard and everything in between, just like life.

Sorry for my long answer...It probably makes no sense.

In the end, a person must do what he or she feels is right for them. Sometimes love, a relationship, is organic like Faith and I and sometimes not I guess...But I'll leave you with something my mum said to me when I was about nineteen. I'd been living out of home for a year and a half, with Faith....Mum said:

Love is like a butterfly in one's hand; Hold on too tight and you'll crush it, hold on not tight enough and it'll fly away.

This is the approach I have taken and I think it could apply to self-love also, which I think is required for a person to place themselves in a position to be receptive to external love; Not selfishness mind, self-love.

I'm not one for forcing the matter I guess and only last night Faith and I were talking about it as we got news of one of my best friends having pancreatic cancer and weeks or a month or so of life left to him....Faith said that if something happened to her she thinks I'll not want to be alone and will get into a relationship quickly.

I tend to disagree and would rather it happened organically than taking logical steps to make it happen; And if it didn't, I think I'd still be content. Forcing it, dating sites and all...That's when people present differently than they are and attract the wrong people...And things don't usually work out.

Being oneself is who we were all made to be, unsurprisingly.

Ok, so that's it...I probably sound like a total idiot...It's ok though, it's been said before. I think we'd have a better conversation about this in a face to face forum and it wold be a fun topic. You're clearly a smart person and maybe you could teach this old G-dog a thing or two.

(Long bloody comment....Not going to proof read it.) 😆