I understand; survival, the need to, can inspire many things within a person. I was racially vilified, quite brutally, and when large enough...Well, let's just say I acted in exactly the manner others had acted with me and I punished a few. That scared some people, the ferocity of it, but I think also the cold, detached way in which I meted out said punishments.

I realised I didn't like it though, that being like them wasn't the real me; from then I always thought things through and resorted to violence when it was necessary, not as a matter of course.

I think we need to be us, you know, who we are or desire to be and for me that's a kaleidoscope of things. I've done bad things, things that people may perceive as such, and I've done good things...It's funny though, good and bad just depends on perspective. Overall, I think I'm happy being me, with all my flaws and broken bits. I put the pieces together sometimes and accept that they're a jumble at others. Much like most.

One thing I won't allow myself to be though is a default version based upon the poor actions of other people. I'm happy to stand apart and accept that it may be lonely.

A lot of who I am is due to events (mostly bad) from when I was a kid. It built character, as with you.