"Be thou the rainbow in the storms of life. The evening beam that smiles the clouds away, and tints tomorrow with prophetic ray"
Lord Byron
Be the rainbow in the storm of life. To me this has a similar meaning to my personal ethos I end my posts with: Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default.
That phrase reminds me I'm the author of my own life, that I can paint it the way I choose. I picked that up from my father, an artist, who spent his lifetime adding brush strokes to his life-canvas; I was there for some of it and saw what he created and I feel his example is a good one to follow. He was content at the end.
Life isn't all rainbows and butterflies however; it storms also. It's a process of contrasts in which good and bad come in equal, and often unequal, measure - The pendulum swings both ways passing centre each time and stopping its motion isn't an option; not a very palatable one anyway. So it seems prudent to make the most of life. To live passionately.
Highs balance lows, happy balances sad and good balances evil, although balance is probably not quite the right word in truth. In a lifetime most will experience the swing of the pendulum but it's how we deal with those swings, the importance or validity we place upon them, that really matters. We only get one turn on the wheel.
I've always had a high work-rate; it doesn't necessarily mean I work a lot, just in a focused, productive manner with a results-oriented mindset and attitude. I set goals and plans then deploy confidently focused upon the things I want to achieve be it my professional job, sports, relationships, health, personal growth or emotional well-being and my operational tempo is high; I strive for the best version of myself and life.
I approach life passionately, it underlines pretty much all I do, in line with the design and create ethos I mentioned above. Even should the mission be sitting under a tree reading a book I deploy with passion and seek to be one hundred percent presence in the moment. I find better value in doing so.
The small moments of life are all I have, a series of them in a row make up the greater thing, my whole life. If something isn't resonating with me I make changes; sometimes dramatic ones, and four weeks ago I decided a big change was required, for my own good.
I resigned from a job I've held for almost five years in an industry I've worked in for twenty and immediately I felt better. It was miraculous, like I'd shrugged off a heavy cloak that weighed me down impeding my forward movement. Today is my final day with the company; a conclusion, but also a beginning of sorts.
I've been asked how I feel right now, resigning with no job lined up to go to, and the answer is, I feel really good about it. In control, empowered and free.
It's like I have a fresh white canvas on an easel before me, a palette full of colours and brushes to paint with - It feels like there's no boundaries or limitations and I think my father would be proud of me. I feel good about finding time for myself and having the ability to paint, or not, as I see fit. I feel energised, like I'm about to take the first step on a great adventure and in truth I guess I am. Where does that adventure lead? Nowhere. Anywhere. Everywhere. I'll find out in due course.
I've gone through moments of...Moments of...Umm...I want type doubt but in truth it's not doubt at all. Moments of feeling irresponsible is probably the best way to put it. I'm a disciplined man and the new self-imposed aimlessness hasn't sat well at times. I've worked since the age of thirteen and tomorrow I'll not have a job to go to.
I'm not irresponsible of course, and when I think it through I'm just as happy with my decision now as I was four weeks ago. The reasons behind my decision to take a me-break are far more compelling than the reasons to stay at a job that wasn't adding much value to my life, my being.
I expect the feelings of irresponsibility to fade quickly, but if not then I'll just accept it as a swing of the pendulum and move on with life as I choose.
I don't know what tomorrow holds, the next day or the next after that; it's not something I'm inclined to contemplate at the moment. It's enough to know that my future will arrive eventually, days will come and go, and I'll work out the details when I do. I have the ability to focus more of my energy on myself and whilst I'm not the least bit selfish it feels good to have a little more focus upon myself and future.
I sought the ability to hear myself a little better, to sweep aside the noise and clutter, the dust, and see what's there, within me. It's exciting and, I'll be honest, it's difficult not to smile when I think about it and what may lay ahead.
Lord Byron uses the words, tinting tomorrow with prophetic ray which, in truth, is what I intend to do. I'll add brushstrokes of colour to a blank canvas, colourful threads to my life's tapestry...No matter how I describe it there's a high degree of excitement, some trepidation and uncertainty and loads passion; again, that swinging pendulum.
I'll find rainbows I'm sure, storms also no doubt, but no matter what comes I'll approach it with the same passion I've approached my life to date and my operational tempo will carry me forward with confidence and vigour as I seek to be the rainbow in the storm of life.
I'll find some colour, enjoy the journey of trying.
That's what's up this Wednesday...Who knows what the next will bring?
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
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