There's a light at the front door, only a dim glow, but enough to help you find the keys I've left right under the mat. Don't forget, you'll always be welcome. Don't knock just let yourself in, I don't mind.
I said the last with hope, borne on the wings of desperation, although she'd left no hope to keep me company. She'd left me nothing but a shattered heart.
She was leaving. I knew why, but didn't understand.
She said she couldn't do it anymore, that it was too much to bear, seeing me and knowing what had happened, and that it could never be put right. I'd pleaded with her of course. I told her we could work together to make things right, whole again, like we had always done.
The same dialogue we had had for weeks, just a different day.
Can we talk? Let's just see reason here, look at our options. I don't know, maybe it just wasn't meant to be this time, but that doesn't mean the future won't be different. It's not your fault. It's not mine, it just happened. Please. You don't have to go.
I'd lost all sense of pride by then...I just didn't care any more; Not about anything else but holding onto her.
That was last night.
Tonight she was walking out of my life.
She said she blamed herself, it was her not me; Yes, that line. I'd not heard it before, and now I had...Well, all I wanted to do was hold her, keep her here somehow, for one more second, and a lifetime beyond.
The door creaked as it opened and her steps echoed back into the empty house as the heels of her boots struck the porch; They felt like hammer-blows to my heart, destroying it...But no, that couldn't be; It had broken last night when she said she was leaving.
Do you remember that day on the boardwalk? We sat there watching the sun dip below the horizon and as the colour drained from the day we talked about the future, our plans. I told you I loved you for the first time right then, that very night. You said we'd be together forever and we kissed. It was the beginning of forever.
I had tried to remind her that together we could overcome anything. I hoped reminding her of one of the most perfect moments we had shared together might jolt her; Bring her back.
Nothing.
The red lights disappeared in a cloud of dust, brightening briefly when she braked at the gate, then she turned and was gone.
I stood in the doorway, the now dark and empty house silent behind me, and my love and life disappearing from view ahead.
It was a long time before I moved. I can't recall what I was thinking, I was numb...All I could see was her laying in that hospital bed a couple of months earlier; Face pale, slack and defeated...She couldn't look at me; Wouldn't.
She never looked at me the same after that day; That day our relationship died, along with our baby which she had miscarried.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.
Be well
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