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I just wanted to expresses my thoughts and emotions as of the moment. I know it might sway you into negative emotions but I cannot keep this to myself. I view all people in steemit as my friends so I decided to share this load of feelings.
How it all started
My boyfriend, or should I say ex-boyfriend and I met over tinder. It was not destiny. It was just coincidence that I installed tinder (for the second time around) and had my cousin swiped right when his profile appear. We travelled to Dapitan last year of November because my grandma's sister died of old age. Athena (my cousin) then said we look a like so she swiped right.
Kenneth and I had become friends online and kept each other's company online no matter how busy our schedules are. He is a third year medical student, while at that time I was a government employee.
Sometime in December 2016, I kept teasing him that we must end up together because we will make a good couple and intelligent kids. I smiled with the idea because I was looking forward to be with him in the near future. Guess what he told me? He said he would love to but chose to decline my offer because he is busy with his studies. I felt a little disappointed and thought that he just want some time, but a week after he agreed on my idea. Brilliant.
On January, our youth organization will be joining a convention that would be held at Shangri-La, Mactan, Cebu. I told him about that a week prior to my flight. The day came and we were exchanging text messages after his bi-monthly exams. He called me and asked whether if I have eaten something else after our dinner in one of Shang's restaurant. I told him that I haven't and only enjoyed the tiramisu. He said that in an hour, there will be a delivery coming from Jollibee. I laughed and dismissed him.
It was almost 12 in the morning when he called me again asking what room number I am staying because my order has arrived. I was like, you were serious? Okay. Just tell the personnel to meet me at the hallway downstairs. So I searched for a sweater since I was just wearing a long night gown. When I reached the hallway downstairs, I waited for few minutes then a man with white medical uniform was approaching towards me. Shit! Jollibee personnels do not wear such clothes. And then I realized it was my boyfriend heading towards me carrying some jollibee meals and a backpack.
I was not ready for what is bound to happen so I could not helped but cover my face because it felt so hot. I was obviously blushing. He was laughing at my reaction that I got irritated at him and punched him on his arm. I still could not believe that he is sitting beside me. I also told him that his eyelids are really small and I wonder how he could see with those eyes. I could have at least looked pretty in front of him but I wasn't.
After trying to get along with our conversation, we headed to my room. I was sharing my room by the way with Hanna who was from Iligan Chapter. We have separate beds. There were also two other peopls in our hotel room so I decided that Kenneth and I would mingle at the patio outside the hotel room. It was not a bad idea though since the weather is pretty cold.
He handed me then the jollibee meals. My ex-boyfriend, John, then was the first person to come out to my mind and the first date we had at McDonald's.
Kenneth also bought me an ice cream! Yay! Out of courtesy, I offered my portion to my friends because I know they were not able to eat anything for dinner. I just suited myself for licking that sofr-served ice cream. We talked for an hour outside when May and Hanna's boyfriend decided to leave. Hanna too decided to sleep because she was so tired for having not enough sleep because they went bar-hopping the previous night.
I never wanted him to leave right away so I asked him to sleep the night over in our hotel room. He agreed. I told him to change his clothes too because his top was dripping wet from the rain during his trip to Mactan. We talked over bed about his day and it felt so good that I was talking to him in person and not on the phone anymore. He slept beside me while I lied on his arms. It felt so good to sleep beside the person you have fallen madly and deeply in love with even though it has just been weeks. I snuggled him when the room temperature went down.
Morning came and I was very happy that it was him I saw first. I shaked his arms trying to wake him up and the moment he saw me, he said, good morning pretty. I told him that we should both prepare since he needs to travel back to Dumaguete. He has bi-monthlies to catch up, meanwhile I needed to prepare for the day's topic.
I felt bad of course. I should have not slept and spent more time with him, but our eyes could not stay open. We had been busy for the past days. We just thought that there would be next time.
Last night, he handed me a paper bag which I know were filled with goodies. I was so happy for those little things. At least for once in my life, someone gave his effort. I hugged him tight and thanked him for what he has done for me. I know it was not easy to travel from Dumaguete to Cebu after his examination. He also took time to buy things for me which I really appreciated.
Before he left, he asked for a photo with me. He wanted to tell his friends that I was not just a product of his imagination. So basically, this is our first photo together.
Second Time Together
Summer came and so was his summer break too! We had the opportunity to see each other again after three months. I really longed to hug him tight and kiss him on his cheeks. By March, he told me he will be travelling with his classmates to Davao. He would then visit me after that here in Cagayan de Oro. I got so excited with the thought but then was so mad at him when he told me he will be seeing me on April 1. Out of all the days in the calendar, why April 1? I chose not to believe in him because it sounded so absurd to me.
April 1 came and he sent me a text message that he is near Cagayan de Oro. I checked what time it is and it is still five in the morning. I was staying in my aunt's house because my parents decided to travel for a retreat. I hurriedly went to the bathroom and prepared myself and the things I will need.
We met in Mcdonald's near Lim Ket Kai. I wanted to hug him tight but I ended up throwing the things on his table. Talking about walking disasters, I am one of those people who had been given with such talent.
We headed to the place he would be staying for few days. I really wanted to him to meet my relatives, but for him I suppose it was not yet the time for it. We spent our days walking along the streets of Divisoria. I also showed to him how does a portion of Cagayan de Oro looks like from the top view.
It was three days filled with happiness. I was not expecting that we would be meeting again but we did. This time it would be in his province with my family.
My father wanted to visit some parts of the Negros Island. Unfortunately, vehicles that would take us to the places we wanted to visit were limited since it was holy week. I never really expected that he would be our driver for the entire trips. We went to Sugar Beach, Sipalay then Bais for some dolphin watching.
Kenneth and I had a conflict. Well, we always do but he was afraid I would ran off to the sea so he stayed up all night.
The Conflicts
I know I had been a huge headache for him for the past nine months and this time it is big that I just wanted to end our relationship. It is very easy to advice others to forgive and forget but on my part it was not.
To begin with, I had been suffering with our long distance relationship.I do not understand why his friends do not like me when I just told them that I would not be sending Kenneth home when he visited Cagayan de Oro. A week after, I received a message from one of his friends. Those were photos of my boyfriend with some girls. I do not want to put malice on those images but the message coming from them irritated me. Who are them anyway to mingle the relationship of other people.
Aside from that, my relationship with his friends got more constrained when I have read one of his friends (a married woman) that Kenneth should not get married and focus on his studies instead. Hypocrite! I wanted to slap on her face the thought that she is already married so what right does she have to sound so ridiculous and hypocrite. They were also blantantly pairing him with someone else from their group.
I opened it up to Kenneth and we both ended up fighting. He took my side then because I started being so hysterical on the other land. He apologized to me for them but I want his friends to do that instead.
I know he had been in a relationship with someone else prior to me. I asked him whether or not he kept communication line open and he said no. I was so confident when he told me that. But then I found out that he was still following her over instagram. He said it was not him but was his ex-girlfriend who has access to his accounts. I doubt what he was saying is true. I do not mind if he cheated on me or not, but the fact remains that he lied.
I tried to assess the situation. I know that I have lapses too. I had been very short tempered and misunderstanding. And as for now, I felt so uninspired to share other stories. I already drafted a lot but my drive suddenly died. I do not know. I will some moment to go out this evening and buy some korean ice cream.
We are going to meet next Monday and I do not know how to face him. I might slap his face, kick his bath, or shout painful words at him. I do not know what will happen then. For the meantime, I will make him cry until blood comes out from his eyes. Call me sadist, but I think he deserves more from my cold treatment.
I would just like to take this opportunity to thank all the wonderful people here on steemit who supported me. I wanted to thank
@deveerei for introducing this wonderful website to me. It is indeed the Narnia but the online version wherein I could find numerous stories and information that I could also share to my friends. I also want to thank 
@curie and 
@blocktrades. To others it may seemed a small amount of money, but for people like me and others who have the passion, talent, and skill in writing, it is a big help. I was able to help my family from what I earn here. I would also like to thank 
@steemph team and the rest of the gang.