Hello @ibbtammy,
I stumbled upon your post and decided to give it a read.

I'm happy I did because I have a deep appreciation for the way you think, and you are a very good writer who is good at conveying a great depth of meaning behind your words.

The topic of self moderation in social situations is quite extensive with so many things to consider. Should one moderate their true thoughts about another person if it may be negative? Should one question why they think these negative things in the first place?

It's (mostly) socially agreeable that people should not say bad things about others, and the psychology behind why people may use jab like jokes to or about others is pretty extensive as well.

I believe if people took more time to think about what they are saying in social situations, they would likely say nicer things, and others would likely feel better about them, in turn influencing the other person to feel naturally more positive. So there is a type of energetic feedback loop which occurs.

If possible, I would try to avoid highly toxic people though because there's a lot of them out there these days and they will totally mess up your existence. Best to steer clear of those types if you can.

Given the fact that you express a desire for positive change with humanity shows you're empathetic in nature and have a good foundation to help make a change in the world. Thank you for sharing your positive message with us!