What if you went to the doctor and found out you had only one day to live? What would you do? What would you say? What would you regret doing or not doing?
I experienced something similar once.
We had a cat that we adored, he was indeed one of the most beautiful cats; not only on the outside but on the inside too. He was a tom but he was a gentle beast to us and his fellow cats. He was a tremendously skillful hunter too. His name was Teddy (chosen by my "lame" girls). His parentage was only "half certain". By that I mean his mother was a pedigreed persian but of doubtful morals. His father was unknown.
We all loved Teddy but my wife loved him the most. Whenever Michele bathed, Teddy would sit on the side of the bath and let his tail fall in the water. When Michele worked in the kitchen and elsewhere in the house, Teddy was draped around her neck.
One day we noticed he was panting which is unusual, so we took him to the vet. The vet diagnosed Teddy and said he had an enlarged heart and that this was restricting his breathing. Teddy would live for three days at the most. We were horrified and heartbroken. Every moment we could spend with our "boy" we did. We looked at him and found it hard to believe that his time was almost up.
We live on a corner house and opposite our house on the opposite side of the road is a rainwater concrete drain. On the last day he went into the drain and sat there meowing in a deep tone. It was a tragi-comic moment; to see my wife there, lying in the road and looking into the drain speaking to her beloved cat. She had to go to work and knew that she would never see Teddy alive again. She told our eldest daughter to keep an eye on Teddy as she was studying at home.
Later that morning Tanith saw Teddy lying in the road. He was dead. The effort of jumping out of the drain burst his heart. When we came home I buried Teddy under the one tree while weeping Michele looked on. Whenever I cut the grass in that area, I think of him.
The way we acted to our cat when we knew of the fateful news was different to the way we acted before knowing of the time deadline for his demise. The information of knowing that our time was limited with our beloved cat left the house in a somber yet loving mood.
For my wife and girls, I suppose that they also endured similar sentiments when I was diagnosed with an inoperable spinal tumour. My eldest two girls were at university and their academic efforts were a struggle, heroic efforts with tremendous courage helped them both to succeed. My younger two were also badly affected for that year.
Prayer and faithful fasting from many who knew me assisted greatly. The tremendous skill of many doctors as they treated my tumour with radiation and cortisone. I suppose my positive, never say die attitude gave me resources as well. Just before I was diagnosed with the tumour, I had managed to pass a difficult honours in accounting, this gave me a tremendous boost as I had been attempting to pass this for many years. For me, my wife, was a living angel at my side, her endless devotion and our humour together, has given us many treasured memories. MRI's were performed and then the wait for the next MRI, would the treatment work? Would the tumour shrink? These were the questions we had as the cortisone took its toll and turned me into a balloon. The MRI was due in July 2015. There was going to be a graduation ceremony in June and I was uncertain that I would live for too much longer, so to honour my wife, I decided to go to the ceremony, without her constant encouragement, I could never of succeeded.
Then the long awaited MRI took place and to our joy, the tumour had completely disappeared out of my spinal cord. There was a complication though, the massive cortisone doses had weakened my bones and the vertabrae next to the area of the tumour had begun to crumble. Surgical intervention was required.
I went in for surgery. Michele waited. The neurosurgeon came out and told her that the operation was not successful and that I had arrested on the operating table. As Michele was about to collapse, he hastily said that they had managed to get the heart going again after a minute or so. He now knew what to do to prevent that problem but he must operate again soon. For a brief moment Michele thought I was dead. It really traumatised her. Duly I went back for a second operation which was successful (kind of obvious).
Here is the point, the first medical drama where my family found out about the tumour, gave them time to spend with me, to prepare. The second drama involving the surgery, was the possibility of "departing" suddenly with no chance of a farewell.
Later about a month after the surgery, I had an embulism which I survived, just took out a part of my lung, did not stop in my heart. Very fortunate I was.
So my wife suffers on, with insecurity regarding my health; yet time passes and I continue to improve. Earlier this year (maybe it was last year in 2017?), I went for a checkup MRI and the tumour is still gone. I have even started playing
some squash again.
However things can never be the same again. How can they? My appreciation for my wife is not the same as it was before the "medical dramas". Each day is a treasure, regardless of the difficulties that we endure, just as you do in your own lives.
But the question remains, what would you do if you found out that you had only one day to live? What about all the multitudes of people who die suddenly? What would they and their loved ones have wanted to say to each other? If they knew that they were going to die the next day, what would they do and what would they say differently? Even more poignant, what would they have want to have done, wanted to have said.
My father in law passed away several years ago. He never treated his daughter kindly throughout her life and just before he died while he was in hospital lying on his death bed, for the first time in his life, he said "I'm sorry, I love you" to Michele. What regret, what a wasted life of opportunities that he could have had with his child if he had only been able to control his anger and frustrations over the disappointments of life.
The daily grind of life continues and we become indifferent to the risks and the opportunities of life. The Young believe there will always be a Tomorrow.
But one day there won't!
What a change it would make to our troubled planet if all humanity could adopt this approach.
