Bullying's Story [ESP-ENG]

That day I arrived at the office early as every morning, but to my surprise I was surprised to find that that morning I had the pleasant visit of the son of a co-worker. Miguel was only 10 years old, we sat down every afternoon to talk while I tasted a delicious cup of coffee that at that time Mrs. Olga made for us.

But Miguel's presence in the mornings was something unusual. In the mornings he had classes, he was just finishing fifth grade. His mother cried and he languished in his seat with a somber expression, he did not want to go to school, the thing was that no one could understand his reasons.

Until recently he had been attending his classes calmly, but he suffered a sudden change. I wanted to help his mother discover the origin of his refusal to go to school, I knew from my own experience that this place could be hostile if there was harassment, bullying or violence. I had been bullied as a child.

Ese día llegué a la oficina temprano como cada mañana, pero para mi sorpresa me conseguí con que aquella mañana tenía la grata visita del hijo de una compañera de trabajo. Miguel tenía apenas 10 años, nos sentábamos cada tarde a hablar mientras yo degustaba una rica taza de café que por aquel entonces nos hacia la señora Olga.

Pero, la presencia de Miguel en las mañanas era algo inusual. En las mañanas tenia clases, apenas estaba terminando el quinto grado. Su mama lloraba y él languidecía en su asiento con una expresión sombría, él no quería ir al colegio, el asunto era que nadie podía comprender sus razones.

Hasta hace poco venia asistiendo con tranquilidad a sus clases, pero sufrió un cambio repentino. Yo quería ayudar a su madre a descubrir el origen de su rechazo al colegio, sabía por experiencia propia que ese lugar podía ser hostil si había hostigamiento, bullying o violencia. Había sufrido de acoso cuando era niño.

My mother used to say that if "I didn't bully anyone, no one had to bully me", but I knew that was a complete lie. There were very cruel kids, who made my life difficult in and out of the classroom. I was an outcast, because I didn't fit into any group, I was too poor to be part of the popular ones and too messy to hang out with the "quiet ones".

However, I had no doubt that if anyone knew how to survive in school, it was me. Adults in schools deal with a myriad of situations, which make cases like mine slip through their fingers. So I had to learn to protect myself from bullying, without the help of teacher Aurita.

That morning I knew that might be one of the reasons for his reluctance to attend classes. The problem was that he didn't want to talk about it. He would rather have his mom cry or his dad force him to attend than give in. And that's where I came in, the first thing I did was talk to his mom.

Mi mama decía que si “yo no metía con nadie, nadie tenía que meterse conmigo”, pero yo sabía que aquello era una soberana mentira. Había niños muy crueles, que me hacían la vida difícil dentro y fuera del aula. Yo era un alumno paria, porque no encajaba en ningún grupo, era demasiado pobre para ser parte de los populares y demasiado desordenado para juntarme con los “callados”.

Sin embargo no tenía dudas de que si alguien sabia como sobrevivir en el colegio, ese era yo. Los adultos en los colegios lidian con una infinidad de situaciones, que hacen que casos como el mío se les escapen de las manos. Así que tuve que aprender a protegerme del acoso, sin la ayuda de la maestra Aurita.

Aquella mañana sabía que esa podría ser una de las razones de su renuencia a asistir a clases. El problema era que él no quería hablar acerca del tema. Prefería que su mama llorara o que su papa lo obligara a asistir que dar su brazo a torcer. Y allí entré en acción yo, lo primero que hice fue hablar con su mama.

Miguel had enough confidence in me to allow me access to his fears. But the secret to gain the trust of others is to put yourself in their shoes, I had learned that secret since I was a child. You can't gain anyone's trust unless you open up about your own problems and make the other person feel comfortable to talk about theirs.

That morning I invited him to my desk, and began to tell him how a boy had bullied me most of elementary school. That he used expletives to refer to me and that others played along, I told him about the time he punched me in the mouth and made my teeth turn red. I let him know how my dad made fun of me for "not knowing how to defend myself".

I assured him that I had no options at his age, I had to attend classes no matter how many bullies were waiting for me in the doorway. As I did so, I noticed how her expression calmed down, she was no longer defensive. I had hit the nail on the head, his eyes were shining and he was listening to me as if words of life were coming out of my mouth. Then, the journey began.

Miguel tenía suficiente confianza en mí como para permitirme acceder a sus miedos. Pero el secreto para ganarse la confianza de los demás es ponerse en sus zapatos, yo había aprendido ese secreto desde muy niño. No puedes ganarte la confianza de nadie, sino te abres sobre tus propios problemas y haces que el otro se sienta cómodo para hablar de los suyos.

Esa mañana lo invité a mi escritorio, y comencé a contarle como un niño me había acosado casi toda la primaria. Que usaba improperios para referirse a mí y que otros le seguían el juego, le conté aquella vez que golpeo en la boca e hizo que mis dientes se dibujaran de rojo. Le hice saber cómo mi papa se burlaba de mí por “no saber defenderme”.

Le aseguré que yo no tenía opciones a su edad, tenía que asistir a clases no importaba cuantos acosadores me estuvieran esperando en el portal. Mientras lo hacía notaba como su expresión, se serenaba, ya no estaba a la defensiva. Había dado en el clavo, sus ojos brillaban y me escuchaba como si de mi boca salieran palabras de vida. Entonces, comenzó la travesía.