We have this idea that love is supposed to be private but it's not. So much of it is about simple display and that display being observed by others.
This is ultimately most publicly expressed in marriage, and especially on and leading up to the marriage day.
The love requirement of marriage is relatively new to human partnership though. This episode of Hidden Brain goes into that deeply:
When Did Marriage Become So Hard?
There are signs it's getting even harder. In this episode, we explore how long-term relationships have changed over time and whether we might be able to improve marriage by asking less of it.
I wonder people can do this in Western cultures, step back from the fantasy of the all consuming love / partnership / marriage / friendship and split that out to more people?
Is this all just wishful nostalgia for simpler times of simpler wants or is it emotionally pragmatic?
Since our largest partnerships are public so then is love public. Loves ups and downs are then public and there is even more the pressure to keep things going. Much ink has been spilled in advice to lower expectations but I really wonder if it isn't best to separate those needs out.
