An Ai generated image of me
Loving with open eyes is a healthy and wonderful thing to do, even when love covers it all.
This is Tracy, and this is my story of how I fell in love which led to my health issues and the death of my children despite the warnings
We didn't know our genotype before sailing through the spheres of our relationship.
Things changed, and we got serious about the direction we were heading to, which was us being legally bound together in God's word.
We were so much in love, we had done other tests, ranging from fertility tests and other related and necessary tests, and we were both okay, but...
Oh dear, there's a BUT.
We weren't compatible in our genotype. We were both SS, and we were told not to risk it.
I cried, though cause it was heartbreaking because he's now a part of me.
Ohh, I get it now. My village people don't want us to be together.
We'll talk to God and pray...
This, I thought.
The doctor advised us and told us why we shouldn't take such a risk of marrying ourselves.
But what is love if we can't be together?
People are surviving with sickle cell, ni and we won't be the first.
Forgetting that these people who are surviving with SS have spent a fortune, and their lives are on the line of prayers, and here we are with less money.
We went on with the marriage plans, amidst the warnings.
Some months after the marriage, I became pregnant with triplets, and I had to give birth through a cross cesarean section.
Sorry, it was stressful and painful.
At a certain age in time, my girls started becoming sick and pale till we became tenants in the hospital because of their sickness due to numerous visit to the hospital
And there I was, asking God, "Why me?"
Forgetting that He had warned me several times without number.
After spending so much and putting our all into it, our triplets slept peacefully at a very tender age because of what we ignored.
We loved blindly, and our girls suffered the consequences
Our mistake cost our kids their lives
So, dear young ones, the questions you should ask when on a first date or getting to know someone are;
• What's your genotype?
• Do you know your blood group?
• What's your rhesus factor?
These are important conversations to have because, before you get too emotionally invested or start making plans for marriage and children, you need to understand where you both stand health-wise.
And please, don't just ask, get tested.
Don't rely on what someone thinks their genotype is nor what your parents told you. Don't rely on an old result you cannot verify, go to a reliable health facility and get tested.
Love is beautiful, but love should not make us close our eyes to reality.
Prayer is powerful, but wisdom is also important cause faith does not mean you should ignore medical advice.
You can love someone deeply and still make a difficult, informed decision about marriage and having children, it isn't about blaming anyone.
This is not to say that people living with sickle cell disease are living a life that is not worth living. No! People living with sickle cell deserve love, support, proper medical care, understanding, and every opportunity to live meaningful lives.
But as young people, we also have a responsibility to make informed decisions before bringing children into the world.
Knowing your genotype is not an insult to your love nor is it a sign that you don't trust your partner. It is not being negative about your future.
It is being responsible and accountable
Before the relationship becomes marriage and before marriage becomes pregnancy.
Before pregnancy becomes a child whose health may be affected by a decision you could have made differently.
So ask questions and get tested to know and understand, then decision can then come in
Let's stop making important health decisions based only on love, emotions, pressure, or "we will pray about it."
Let's be enlightened and let's have these conversations early.
Let's encourage our brothers, sisters, friends, and children to know their genotype and understand what it means for them and their future family.
Because sometimes, loving someone means knowing when to hold on...
And sometimes, loving the children you haven't even met yet means making a difficult decision before they are born.
Love with your heart, but don't switch off your brain.