Mature love is one of the greatest life experiences. Often, however, we confuse it with infatuation or emotional dependence. In fact, the boundary between one and the other state is very subtle, so it is very easy to cross it and fall into an unhealthy, toxic relationship. How to detect if you are in emotional addiction? What distinguishes a mature relationship based on love from a relationship in which there is no place for love?
Love is cooperation, dependence is egoism
When you love, you focus on making someone happy.
You always think about your partner and are looking for new ways to surprise and please him.
You do not think about who contributes to this relationship, because you know that a healthy relationship is a cooperation that does not pay attention to small details.
You do not try to manipulate or pretend to be someone you are not, you feel safe, so you do not need to dominate.
Mature love is when one and the other side gives, but does not expect anything in return, because giving is in itself satisfying.
In turn, emotional dependence focuses on egoism and selfishness.
One of the partners always "makes the other happy" just to get something in return.
Such people usually feel great fear of losing a partner, which is why they often take a manipulative attitude, try to control the relationship, have an advantage in it, to get personal satisfaction from it all the time.
Mature love is freedom, dependence is a prison
Mature love means that every person should be able to grow in a relationship.
Everyone can express themselves freely without being afraid to reveal their faults and weaknesses.
This mutual trust allows partners to express their full potential.
In this type of relationship, there is no room for control, because everyone encourages the other to consider new goals and supports each other to achieve them.
Mature love is a fertile foundation for personal development.
However, emotional dependence often becomes a prison.
In such a toxic relationship the manipulator wants his partner to be fully subjected to the relationship, he forgot about his dreams, goals, plans, acquaintances, passions, etc.
In this way, the relationship ends with the relationship, and the closure begins in the cage.
Love is lasting, dependence is short-lived
Love lasts despite the passage of time.
In fact, in contrast to infatuation, love, emotional dependence, etc., mature love develops and grows over the years.
As the tree roots harder at the base and develops new branches.
This does not mean that there is no room for conflicts and conflicts, but each partner decides to be together, not because they need each other, but because they truly love each other.
Mature love focuses on the other person, on its positive qualities that make it ideal and unique in its very being.
In contrast, emotional dependence is based on the feeling of emptiness that needs to be filled.
In fact, many addicts are from emotions, so quickly ending one relationship, they enter the next.
In principle, then they are not interested in the other person, just the way they can fill the emotional void.
People who can not live alone and do not look for a soul mate, but only someone who will take their time, often enter into emotional dependence.
Harmful relationships
Relations based on emotional dependence most often end in the misfortune of both parties.
A dependent person always wants more, is not satisfied with everyday life and exists with constant fear fed by the fear of loneliness.
In turn, the other party day by day feels more and more overwhelmed with responsibility, is not able to develop its own potential and is trapped in a relationship that has nothing to offer.
As a result, the emotional dependence sooner or later comes to an end, leaving only disgust, sadness, grief and a sense of failure.
Fortunately, if we realize this before, we can end unhealthy relationships and direct all of our energy towards a mature love that allows both people to grow and to complement one another.
