I can honestly say that I understand or appreciate anybody who says that he or she absolutely won't date a person on the basis of race - I also don't see or hear it often anymore. I understand preferences and I noticed people's preferences all the time; but, preference isn't bigotry or a phobia.
That's the low hanging fruit for the people who label others as "phobic" for excluding people from their dating pool and the mentality is inevitably going to lead to absolute insanity if we haven't already gotten there.
Aside from race the two favorite "phobias" that people seem to like to call are "fatphobic" and "transphobic."
In the context of dating, this isn't a phobia. A phobia is either an irrational fear or aversion to something or someone. I'll never date a man and I don't have a fear or aversion - I'm just not attracted to men. If the context of the accusations of "phobia" were referring to people who say that they can't like or respect you because you're a certain way, that's fine. Saying that a person is phobic for not wanting to share his or her body with you is, quite frankly, narcissistic as well as ignoring the massive middle ground between hating somebody and wanting to have sex with somebody. What's more, it's an attitude that's converging with "pray the gay away." Namely, you're shaming people for how they feel in terms of sexuality and pushing them to pretend for your comfort and edification.
These activists also demand that everybody view "dating" through their lenses and have no interest in hearing reasons.
If you live your life like Alex Honnold and spend all day everyday rock climbing, somebody who's out of shape isn't an appropriate partner. If your values regarding dating are to find a spouse and have kids who are biologically your own, that rules out dating trans-people in most cases.
The way this kind of activism trends is that, once they win, they find the next thing to attack. There are a lot of things about ourselves that we can't control and can turn people off.
The dating pool for women under 5'5" doesn't shrink much. The dating pool for men under 5'7" shrinks exponentially. Is the next movement going to be against the short-phobic?
My voice is kinda strained and Woody Allen-like. Some of my exes have joked about it and talked about how it took them off guard. I'm sure there are plenty of women who ruled me out because of my voice. Is that a new phobia to attack?
Some people's eyes are unusually far apart or close together. Some people's noses are abnormally big. Some people struggle to keep their skin clear. I'm physically incapable of growing a Hitler mustache which may exclude me from some other dating pools.
The priorities that the activists have may change; but, the logic won't and the mentality won't. The mentality is "If you don't want to fuck me, you're a bigot." I happen to think that that's wrong.
