One of the most difficult experiences in your life is the day that you are told that your parent can no longer take care of themselves. That you will need to take their rights away from them. The social worker comes to you and says your parent is not of sound mind. Your parent cannot make a sound decision on their medical issues that you will need to help them.
She was 62 and having paranoid episodes that had become so regular that the last one seemed like everyday life. Mom had convinced herself that dad was beating her and her boyfriend Al Gore. She thought dad was after her and that witness protection had placed cameras in our home to help her. On the day she was taken to the hospital she was at the management office for our residence and told a friend of hers that she needed help.
Mom was taken to the hospital and brought to the psychiatric ward to be observed and diagnosed. After three days of observation and treatment the doctor called my dad and I in to tell us that mom was diagnosed with Early Onset Dementia with Lewy Bodies. There was no treatment to reverse her psychosis that the only option was to slow it down.
The morning of her second admission to the hospital I was told mom was no longer of sound mind that either my dad or I would need to make the decisions for her. I called my dad and was told "You will need to do it." He was a truck driver and couldn't do it. I was told to sign the paperwork making myself the guardian and we would "deal" with it later.
That day at the hospital by myself I cried for 3 hours alone. My mom and best friend would soon not remember me at all. That day came 3 years into her illness. At 6 years in to her illness I got pregnant with my first son and gave birth to my stillborn son. I got pregnant again and lost my mom in the same year. She passed away in August of 2016 I gave birth in January 2017. She never met Gabriel.
Not a day goes by that I dont think about her. I see a flower, a cloud, something beautiful that she would have loved. Her favorite song was The Rose sung by Bette Midler. She is was and will always be my Mom.
I have a hard time though remembering her as she was when she wasnt sick. I have a hard time remembering her awake up and running around, smiling, and being her peppy self. Those 8 years took their toll on her. She passed away alone in her mind but with her 5 children and her husband.
What does guardianship entail? Signing all medical documents for release or admission. Approving all changes of medications. Speaking with insurance companies about coverage. Assisting with finding a premises for your loved one to reside. Family meetings, change of management at facilities, changes of nurse, incidents loved one is involved in including anything violent. Meeting loved one at the hospital when they have been violent. Purchasing clothing, shoes, or anything to keep your loved one comfortable.
I have to admit that I was very angry with my family for putting me in the position to have to be her guardian. In saying that I am glad it was me. I stood up for her as much as I could with the knowledge and experience I had. I am 38 now.
