Notice, I said boys, not men that’s because most of you didn’t quite make it that far in girl world yet. By request, I decided to jot down some girl brain details for ya. The boys that made it to the men category are the ones we chase time and time again, they can have us wrapped around their fingers so tightly that we would rather curl up in our beds and thank about them all day instead of going shopping. Okay, if you follow my blog at all you know I don't like shopping but you get what I am saying here.
First and foremost- Girls don’t like to be hit on. We suffocate easily and find you weird quickly. I once had a guy follow me around the gym I was working out at. He said some cheesy line about me falling from heaven and being his angle. As you see this did not make an impression on me because I can't even remember the pick-up line it was so ridiculous. After I looked at him, laughed, and then walked away.... he began to follow me around the gym. When I got to the squat rack, he grabbed the one beside me, and this continued throughout my hour and a half workout. Once I was done he even waited for me outside of the locker room to walk me to my car. We don't see this as a sweet gesture, we see it as creepy. DON'T DO THIS!
1- Following the example above we will start with "girl brain" at the gym- The gym is a hard place to meet women if you lack confidence. I hate to break it to you but we really aren't there to get attention from you, yes even if we are wearing makeup. This is a misconception, just because a girl wears makeup does not mean she is hunting for a man. I hear boys talk about this often and it makes me laugh, you really don't have a clue if you think this.
So what to do; If a girl is working out in the weight room, she has confidence and she is not intimidated by you. We are the hardest to talk too because we are so focused that you aren't on the same planet as us at that moment. The Rock himself could walk in the gym and I wouldn't notice his sexy smile when I am in this state of mind.
How to find out if you can approach- Ask the girl if you can take a plate off of her rack, ((((Squat rack that is, mind out of the gutter;-)))) make sure you smile here and that your body language is pointed towards her and not the plate and defiantly not at her rack, we notice this. DO NOT BE CREEPY BUT DO BE OPEN TO START A CONVERSATION, SHE WILL SENSE THIS. If she removes her headphones, that is a sign that you may get a few seconds or minutes to chat. Make it quick though, time will expire here. If her headphones stay on and she nods her head yes and doesn't smile, this is not a good time, try again during her cool down. We are a lot more relaxed and unless we are meditating are more open to conversation.
The cardio girl- Females are on the cardio equipment because they are intimidated by the weight room or muscular men that are in there. (Not always but from my experience of being an avid gym goer and having a lot of friends, this is the majority).
What to do- Ask her how to operate the treadmill. We know guys aren't big on cardio, so this won't make it to obvious. Like above, if you pay attention to her body language, this will tell you if she is open to taking a break from her cardio blast workout. If she is full out sprinting wait to catch her at the water fountain. I once had a guy I was into, kick my treadmill as he was walking by. This actually made me smile back at his bright beaming smile. This isn't something you want to do if you have never talked to this girl but if you are already getting to know her a big smile and a random playful gesture to get her attention can go a long way.
2- When we like you, we will push you away. I know it's crazy to think that someone who has feelings for you will legitimately push you away but we totally do. Learning reverse psychology will be your best asset to understanding the method to our madness. When we want you we will be mean. We will send you a gift telling you that you are special and then we will ignore you when you call. This is pre-relationship girl brain. Strong women are not used to being vulnerable, she will find every excuse to fight her shyness and turn it into silence.
Trust me on this one, I once sent a thoughtful gift clear across the country to a guy with a cute letter letting him know that I thought he was rare just like the gift and then when he called to tell me how happy he was I completely ignored him and kept searching through my garage for whatever it was I was looking for. I could hear the disappointment in his voice but I couldn't help it, in fact, I did it on purpose in a self-conscious manner. We will let you in and shove you away just as quickly.
What to do- If a girl is doing little things for you, says things like you are rare, special, cute, turns away when you are looking at her, looks at the ground when you are standing in front of her, don't pay attention to her other actions. We don't always know how to express ourselves. Be patient with her, she likes you no matter how much she pushes you away. Text her random pictures of what is going on in your day. If she isn't ready to take it further, letting her know you are thinking about her is enough to get her to let go of her timidness.
The same gift guy; Picked me up in the morning to go on a short road trip from my friend's house. We went to leave and he sweetly grabbed me to hug me, hold me, be sweet to me.. I don't even know how far he wanted to go with that because I put my hand on his chest and ran straight to his car. This made things awkward for sure so, why do we do this? When we first realize we like you, we panic. After he dropped me off the night before I realized that I was falling for him. I couldn't sleep all night because I was fighting these feelings and I was actually angry that he had broken this barrier. Believe it or not, we are not looking to fall in love and get married right away and the girls who are aggressive with this are insecure and not worth chasing in my opinion. But back to the road trip, this made things awkward to the point I could hardly speak and I brought it on myself but I still said things throughout the day such as "you are such an awesome dude" when he was pointing out the snacks he packed for us. Which by the way guys, he did this right. We are so used to doing these types of things for you, that when you do it for us... it is major brownie points. LIKE MAJOR!
However if she.. flat out says "I don't like you" or anything of the short walk away. Don't get discouraged here though or angry with her. A little secret from girl brain, I haven't found many guys that know it but we like the chase as well. In fact, we don't like not being able to have something. If you have a chance with her, she will come back to you.
3- We need a little push. Yep, that’s right, we need you to tell us that you like us. We need you to take the lead. I have had many guys think we are dating and I am still at hello. Voice, that you are feeling this way before you introduce her to your friends and family as your girlfriend. I have had this often, I am friends with a guy and somehow I am dating him without even knowing it. We need you to spell it out for us. We may be able to sense it but we will fight it and over think it.. We are girls it is what we do. Tell us, ask us, whatever your method it is.. let us know first. It can be a very simple, "I like you". When her reaction is displayed take it from there but don't hold this one back. Be a man, we really do like it.
And last but not least for the night- I am going to be very blunt here and a lot of my gals will probably be mad at me for this one but if we are bashful that means we want your pants off so take them off but make sure it is done respectfully and passionately. Just taking them off and being ready to go is a major turn off. I know kissing probably isn't your favorite pass time, it's what comes after that you want but if you really care about her take the time to figure her out.
Believe it or not we like it rough and passionate at the same time. The harder you take us the more we know you want us and have been thinking about it, we like this. But we won't always admit this. I know many women who agree with me but won't admit it to you.
Girls are just as bad as guys, we just know how to hide it better. We will often fantasize about you and then laugh at you when you try. Maybe it's playing hard to get but thank of it like this if we acted like a guy the chase wouldn't be there and you wouldn't want us.
How to know if she is a keeper- If she calls you out and doesn't respond to the same gestures you use with other girls, she is worth keeping. A girl who is naive to you and allows her shirt to be taken off with some random tactic that usually works on other girls is a girl that can"t handle your manly-ness or lack thereof.
Hold on for dear life- If you talk to a girl about your life decisions and she supports you, don't ever let her go. Too many times I have heard women tell their man "their ideas are stupid" or say it to us gals at lunch. If she is talking about you in this negative manner, in the beginning, the relationship will turn out to be very toxic very quickly. If she entertains the ideas or subjects you talk about, such as looks them up or joins you when you are doing something nerdy or athletic... DON'T EVER LET HER GO, SHE IS RARE, AND WORTH GOING THE EXTRA MILE EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT READY TO GIVE UP BEING A BACHELOR.
