I grew up with parents with two kinds of personalities; my mom was the outspoken one. She would scream at us just to correct us and would call our names so loudly anytime she wanted to send us on an errand, even though we were in the same room. She was very jovial and greeted everyone she knew on her way to the market. At one point, I disliked following her because we would spend hours greeting everyone on the road and in the market before we got what we wanted. However, my dad was the calm and silent one. He doesn't have so many friends but yet he knows so many people; when he greets people on his way out, it is always short and precise, yet everyone is always happy to see him. Sometimes I wonder if it was because of my mom, but that wasn't the reason; he has a way of connecting with people even when he talks so little.
One day, as my mom and I were walking home from the market, I finally asked her.
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“Mummy, why do you always greet everybody like that?” I asked, frowning as she waved at another woman across the street.
She looked at me and laughed. “What kind of question is that?” she said, adjusting the bag she was holding over her shoulder “So I should be walking past people I know, like I didn’t see them”
I frowned a little. “But it’s too much sometimes. We’re always stopping to greet this person, that person… we spend more time greeting than buying things. It always make us get home late, aha”
She shook her head, and continue talking without looking at me “My dear, greeting someone won’t kill you. You don’t know who is watching you or who you’ll need tomorrow. This life ehnn, relationship is everything. If you see someone you know, greet them. It shows respect and it builds connection.”
I didn’t say anything, but I kept those words in my heart. If I should greet everyone I know, I would be greeting almost everyone in the state, so I thought but I took a leaf out of her book.
There was a particular man my mom always greeted, but I didn't like him because he wasn't always properly dressed. He would wear rubber slippers and short pants instead of trousers, and he hung out with those loud touts at the bus stop, but after that talk with my mom, I just started greeting him whenever I saw him, sometimes with a little bow because we are meant to greet elderly people with a bow, sometimes a focused wave and I would always see him smile whenever I greeted him and he always respond. The truth was, I did it just because, nothing else and it wouldn't kill me.
Then one day, I was heading home alone, and the bus stop was busy as always. Some people were trying to get bus, some where trying to buy something from vendors who were hawking their goods, others where trying to get down from bus, many people were at the bus and it was busy as always, then there were the touts too, there to cause trouble, so I tried my best to avoid them but the day wasn't my day.
“Hey you, come here” he said.
I stopped, pretending not to hear, but he was already walking toward me. The kind of fear that makes your stomach tighten came over me. I had heard stories, sometimes they collect your phone, your wallet, or other valuable because no one would stop them.
As he got closer, two more of them came around. One of them stretched his hand. “Make I see your phone,” he said.
I hesitated. I knew what that meant. If I should give him the phone, I probably wouldn't get it back, my palms were already sweaty, and I couldn't even look at their faces. I just kept staring down, heart beating like drum.
"Abi you no get phone, bring the phone out let me see, I will give you back" he said but I could tell those words were nothing but lies.
Then, I heard a sharp voice.
“Are you people mad?! It is my son you want to rob in broad daylight?!”
The voice said in our native tongue. I looked up immediately, and there he was. That same man. The one I had judged for dressing badly. The one I never wanted to greet in the first place.
He walked up to us boldly. The boys shifted. “No vex, Baba,” one of them said, already backing away.
He chased them off like flies and didn’t even raise his hand. Just words. Just presence. Then he turned to me.
“Are you fine,?” he asked in our native tongue and I nodded quickly.
“Next time, no pass here alone,” he said, and pointed in the other direction. “Follow that side. It’s safer.”
He walked me down the road and waited till I crossed safely. He didn’t ask for anything. He just turned and went back to his usual corner.
As soon as I got home, I told my mom the whole story and she was surprise "You see why I said you should be greeting people and be nice to them" she said and I nodded too.
The next time she saw the man, she thanked him and got him a gift, she told me she did, and knowing my mom, I never doubted her. Since then, I have always been a person who greets everyone I know immediately I see them and they are within my voice radar. I took that leaf from my moms book and it has always work in creating good relationship.
The End.
Thanks for reading. My name is Fashtiolwa.