Hello everyone! Welcome to [FM101] Intro to FakeMews you might be tested on the contents within this write up! (Or might not) This class is worth 3 credits at some unaccredited universities across the United States.
Early Childhood (Sports)
Growing up FakeMews was an overly-competitive child striving to be the best at every sport he competed in. FakeMews participated in Soccer, Hockey and Baseball considered the best player on every team he played for (Young Mews had more swagger than current Mews). In Soccer FakeMews once scored 8 goals in a game while recording 0 assists (why should he pass the ball to losers who don’t know how to score). In Hockey FakeMews once scored 3 goals in the intermission period of a “Huntsville Channel Cats” game- earned the nickname “Hat Trick”. Again, staying out of the dreaded assists statistic. In Baseball FakeMews was playing in age groups above his current age due to natural athletic ability being superior to the mere mortals around him.
Early Childhood (Chess)
FakeMews father (Yugor) is a chess master and trained FakeMews at an early age to adopt chess (first IRL chess tournament was when FakeMews was 5). FakeMews quickly became dominant in the Alabama Chess scholastic scene winning every tournament easily against his local peers. State championships won: 2nd grade, 3rd grade, 5th grade, 6th grade 7th grade (Did not compete in 4th grade or ANY year after 7th grade). FakeMews was also competitive on a national scale playing on the top board in the final round of nationals a win would have meant a national championship however 4th grader FakeMews knew he had to stay on brand and must come up short in the finals. It is interesting seeing that young FakeMews was about the same rating as Fabiano Caruana (2018 World Chess Championship Challenger). In the final nationals tournament FakeMews participated in (6th grade) Fabiano Caruana won the tournament with FakeMews finishing in 22nd.
Life-Altering Event
Around the time frame of 5th-6th grade FakeMews gave up all sports he was participating in. At the time this was being deemed “laziness” by everyone around him however this would go on for a couple of years. At the early portion of his 7th grade year FakeMews eventually had to go into surgery with an appendix issue. During this time, it was discovered FakeMews had Crohn’s Disease. This was a huge life-altering transitional time where FakeMews hobbies would take a complete 180. FakeMews would give up chess (would re-adopt in college but never again on a serious level just plays casually now). Also FakeMews went from being the most athletic kid in school to arguably the most frail and weak the 180 had huge negative psychological impacts on FakeMews he will never play sports on a serious level again.
Video Game Adoption:
Ultra-competitive FakeMews needed an outlet to channel his energy but didn’t have much physical energy. Enter the world of video games! The first game FakeMews adopted was ToonTown online. This was a MMORPG run by Disney back in the day. FakeMews quickly became one of the top players in the entire game. Eventually they had their equivalent of a world tournament where the top prize for anyone age 15 or under was a free trip to Hollywood to be featured in a Disney 411 commercial. FakeMews rallied a team of 3 other 40 year old completely normal and non-creepy internet human beings to help him win this contest. The other 3 contestants received an Ipod as the top “above 16 aged participants” The other 3 participants which won this contest didn’t actually play the game their parents won their slot to Hollywood
(FakeMews at the ToonTown Takes Hollywood event in 2004 (FakeMews was 13 then)
If you are interested a link to the Disney 411 where FakeMews was present is here: FakeMews was the ginger kid (obviously) seen getting an early start on his commentary career and throwing a pie in someone’s face who is probably a multi-millionaire now.
Disney 411 - ToonTown Online - YouTube
Pokemon TCG Adoption:
This is a little bit out of chronological order as FakeMews picked up Pokemon at a local card-shop at a very young age (similar to the time-frame of Pokemon Jungle expansion in the US). FakeMews was a pro at trading Pokemon cards at an early age as Yugor would keep him very up to date on the latest pricing guides. As a child FakeMews was brought to the local Books-A-Million where he (and Yugor) would trade (scam) Pokemon cards from unsuspecting kids. My Pikachu for your Charizard? Deal (this trade actually happened). This ended when parents complained and got Yugor thrown out of Books a Million.
Magic the Gathering adoption
Around the time FakeMews adopted Pokemon was also the timeframe of his first exposure to Magic the Gathering (Tempest block was the main set when FakeMews first started playing). From an early age FakeMews was the greatest….. JK actually one of the worst players in local card shop tournaments. But FakeMews was around 9-10 years old for their first Magic the Gathering tournament. Throughout time FakeMews would improve his skills and eventually went on to win 2 local junior super series events (College scholarships + lots of cards). FakeMews stopped playing Magic for a while in high school however picked it up back in college playing Magic the Gathering Online more often than actually doing school work for college. FakeMews would build an empire as he was able to play 4 drafts at the same time at a profitable rate this was quite the addiction. First major failed investment was when Vintage Masters came out on Magic Online. Vintage Masters came out in the summer of 2014 It was supposed to only be out for 2 weeks at $7 a pack you would have chances at “mythic tier cards” (The power 9!) Black Lotus makes its appearance online! At first this was going great this seemed like a sure thing so FakeMews bought as much vintage masters product as possible was queuing 4x drafts at a time (about $25 per draft to enter) doing this all “on paper” profitable at the time. Things would not be all sunshine and roses as Magic the Gathering decided that “2 weeks wasn’t enough time” they extended the Vintage masters events for a while- supply greatly increased and prices plummeted. Fakemews basically had his entire account invested in Vintage Masters. Sick on seeing his empire crumble FakeMews quit Magic the Gathering in 2015 and hasn’t played since. Also wont play MTGArena out of protest as well. To this day you can buy a Black Lotus for $9. Which is sickening……
Hearthstone Adoption
This section is likely the most boring in the FakeMews story. While FakeMews was frequently a legend in Hearthstone and didn’t really struggle in the game he wasn’t involved in the community didn’t participate in tournaments. Wasn’t aware of the existence of “Twitch” or E-Sports enjoyed playing the game but there was clearly no future here. Hearthstone was adopted after quitting Magic the Gathering
Miscellaneous Life stuff
From an early age FakeMews school effort was often described as “Lazy”. Throughout Elementary School, Middle School, High School FakeMews did absolutely the minimum to get by. In high school he primarily played EverQuest2 (no amazing story here but he was the leader of a raid guild and yelled at people in a microphone for the first time). FakeMews slept through high school and graduated with a 2.3 GPA (never failed a class though). When it came time to go to college FakeMews parents were like “you’re going to college” technically my GPA did not meet the requirements to get in basically anywhere. However, the University of Alabama waived their 2.5 GPA requirement due to my good test scores. I was put in their “Crimson Edge” program which was a program the University had for people who probably shouldn’t be there. Ironically, we were forced to take a pass/fail class on study habits. Naturally he passed that class without studying. FakeMews in college re-adopted chess and was in the chess club as the best player Alabama had. Also was in the Table-Tennis club (NOT the best player there).
(Mews in college) Actually was more awkward socially than even this photo describes.
FakeMews went on to graduate college with degrees with a double-major in Economics and Finance and of course a solid 2.9 GPA (its worth noting never failed or withdrew from a class in college).
Post-College Job Search
Perhaps the hardest time FakeMews would go through was immediately after college. A relatively confident young lad excited about his future enters the real world. Reality is harsh though. All of FakeMews life he was told “you’re going to go to college, graduate, then get a great job and live happily ever-after”. Life is not a fairy-tale FakeMews would embark on a job-search for 2.5 years of contestant rejection and no job opportunities during this time the only income FakeMews had coming in was (frequent) trips to Tunica Mississippi to play poker in the poker room (was a net positive player long term but would play for 14 hours straight and my “hourly” win rate long term was likely less than minimum wage). After 2.5 years of constant rejection FakeMews would eventually get a job as a presenter in Space Camp which is after all the standard career entry point for anyone with degrees in Economics/Finance. FakeMews eventually became controversial for his over-the-top energetic style (He was louder and much crazier than he is on Twitch now for those familiar with the “Toxic Storytime Thursday” segment this vibe was often FakeMews at Space Camp). FakeMews was hated by all of his coworkers and had weekly meetings with management debating on the “appropriateness” of some of his jokes. FakeMews however received the highest ratings from Space Camp trainees on their presentations. FakeMews would be employed for his entire 6 month seasonal term and then would leave (Space Camp only hires people seasonally so you can work over 40 hours a week and they don’t have too pay benefits).
(FakeMews at Space Camp yelling at a camera for some reason)
Current Job
FakeMews currently works in the Accounts Payable department of a manufacturing plant. After a job search of about a year (of more constant confidence-shattering rejection) FakeMews acquired a temp-job and was a temp with no benefits for 2 years. FakeMews has been full time there for the past 3 years however there isn’t much exciting about that job.
Current Health
FakeMews is currently at his physical peak. Ironically the best moment health-wise for FakeMews occurred with a surprise $4000 bill back in 2017 from his Crohn’s Doctor (who said a treatment would be $100 then billed $4000). Prior to 2017 FakeMews had multiple trips a year to the ER for Crohn’s related problems constantly sick and with little energy. With literally no money FakeMews couldn’t pay the $4000 bill so he conducted an investigation and determined the doctor was in malpractice. FakeMews threatened to sue and the $4000 bill “disappeared” FakeMews has not been to a doctor since and has not been to the ER since. It turns out my long-time Crohn’s doctor was getting a kickback from a drug that intentionally weakens your immune system young naïve FakeMews had blind trust in the doctor and took this drug regularly which consistently made FakeMews sick. FakeMews has been self-medicating since 2017 this also begins the first time in FakeMews life where he operates a surplus of money coming in and enough energy to travel and enjoy it.
Discovering Gods Unchained
The way FakeMews found Gods Unchained was a complete fluke. At the beginning of the 2020 football season Yugor had an online sportsbook that was about to close on him. At this time, he only had like $130 left in the account and this account had a $60 withdrawal fee by check or you could withdraw via bitcoin. The Sportsbook was going to close its business to US participants in October of 2020 so we only had a couple of weeks to gamble with the $130. Yugor came up to me week 1 and asked “what do you think about this weeks games” I told him that Tampa Bay was the most overrated team in the NFL and that the Saints would crush them Tom Brady is old and going to be terrible. Yugor agreed and bet the entire account on the Saints and this bet ended up winning. (The Tampa Bay Bucs went on to win the Super Bowl that season so my analysis was questionable). Week 2 rolls around and Yugor has the same question I told him “Jacksonville is very under-rated they looked good week 1 and shouldn’t be a 10-point underdog” The Jaguars went down 14 points in the first half however would have a furious comeback to cover the spread in the 2nd half. Yugors sports betting account has gone from $130 to $500 and now he decides its worth messing with to cash out. Not wanting to pay a $60 check fee Yugor creates his first bitcoin wallet having no idea what it is. After receiving his bitcoin, he started googling stuff about cryptocurrencies and accidentally found this game called “Gods Unchained”. Yugor played it then told FakeMews “Hey this game is like Hearthstone except you can make money”. And well… I think you can guess how things turn out from here.
Gods Unchained journey
FakeMews started playing Gods Unchained mid-October of 2020 and did his first twitch stream on 30, OCT 2020 (ironically AcidYo was my first ever twitch chatter) FakeMews was quick to the mythic ranks truly F2P for the most part. FakeMews would make his “whale” investment of 100 trials rare packs to compete better. Through creative deckbuilding FakeMews was able to sometimes get to 17 wins but not much more for a while. Yugor bought Genesis cards but FakeMews was like “I’ll wait a month for IMX” FakeMews bought 3 ETH at around $400 each (waiting for IMX to come out). This was good timing as ETH exploded not long after this. FakeMews would go on to sell 1 ETH for $1200 that way he was “freerolling” his GU empire. Looking back… This doesn’t seem like the best move FakeMews ever made. FakeMews hosted his first tournament “the Superb Owl” in February of 2021 this was a Swiss-style tournament with a top 8 playoff (similar in structure to lots of magic the gathering tournaments). FakeMews was playing and running the tournament at the same time and first truly legendary moment of the community was when he went on to win the tournament he was hosting. Memes of “rigged tournament” started and was great. It was especially exciting defeating CautionFun in the finals with Yawnslaught (his least favorite deck archetype at the time). Trial of the Gods paused going on sale then IMX released. Prices for all trials cards were very high to the point where it was clear mathematically that buying TOTG rare packs was a positive return. FakeMews then invests the 2ETH (originally earmarked for Genesis purchases) to buy 2000 TOTG packs. FakeMews would go on to make a significant profit and use those funds to become a Demigod in Gods Unchained making him the “self proclaimed” F2P Demigod. FakeMews continues to stream regularly however hasn’t quite figured out his brand yet. Is he serious? Is he a failed sit down comedian? Nobody really knows especially him. FakeMews has made the top 4 of many tournaments including one span of 2 weeks where FakeMews finished 2nd place in 4 different tournaments.
FakeMews Live
FakeMews streams live on Twitch weekly!
Thursdays: Toxic Storytime Thursday (8PM CST): Stream starts with 10 wins on the gauntlet then ends with a powerpoint presentation (bed time story) generally meant to be funny however like most comedy often fails.
Fridays: “Friday Night Lights” (6PM CST): FakeMews streams weekend ranked on 6 minute delay this chronicles the emotional roller-coaster that is weekend ranked.
Sundays: “Flux Wheel Sunday” (8AM CST): FakeMews goes Euro-Friendly on his Sunday stream this is generally a more casual laid-back atmosphere as FakeMews theory crafts and just plays the flux wheel while waking up in the morning.
