I did not react quick enough, and was left to check my missed calls. "It's just my uncle, I'll call him back in an hour..." I thought as I placed my head against the soft pillow and slowly drifted back into slumber.
It was a Saturday, and I calmly woke up at 11am free of the hangover I thought would plague me. As I went about my morning routine, the realization slowly dawned upon me that my uncle had called earlier that morning, so naturally I grabbed my phone and listened to the voicemail he had left.
"Hi nephew, it's your uncle. If you can, please call me back soon. Your grandfather is not well and he wants to speak to you before he passes away. Love you, call me back."
I instantly dialed his number and impatiently waited for him to pick up the phone. Flustered by the thought of my grandfather leaving this Earth, I needed to speak to him before he passed onto his second journey.
"Hi nephew, I am so happy you called." He spoke so slowly as if to already prepare me for the words he was about to say.
"Grandpa breathed his last breath an hour ago, but he wanted you to know how proud he was of you and how he knew you loved him. He wanted you to know that he believes you will do great things, and that he was forever thankful of loving him for who he truly was."
I couldn't hold back the tears that soon came. I thanked my uncle and told him I'd call him back later. I knew that I wouldn't be able to talk over the tears that were streaming down my face.
I was too late - I failed to call my grandfather on his death bed. I had called him a few months ago on his birthday to check in on his health and just to talk to him, but in my selfish ways I never called for the rest of the semester.
And now I could never tell him again how much I had learned from him and how much I really did love him.
Still to this day I beat myself up thinking about how much more I could have done, how much of a better grandson I could've been. But in the end I know he truly knew I loved him, and he wouldn't want me to live being upset thinking about what I could've done. He died with no remorse, leaving behind a legacy and teachings that will forever be with me - and in that sense I guess he never truly died.
Cherish those close to you, for at any moment they can be taken away, and all you're left with is the myriad little things you should've (or could've) said.
