I think I’ve been in a coma for about a month and I’m slowly coming back from it. The kaamosmasennus, seasonal affective disorder, which doesn’t sound half as fun in English, hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m usually just a bit depressed by the lack of light but can deal with it, not this time though, I’ve been struggling real bad.
I’ve had zero energy for anything and not even an ounce of inspiration for creating photos, just a total zombie for weeks and weeks. I’ve been cooped up in my apartment, barely awake, eating snacks and diving deep into netflix and youtube, feeling like shit. Don’t wanna see anyone, do anything and not even communicate via internet.
Last week I had some sort of social life which forced me to be up and out at daytime, and helped me get back into the right track. I know it’ll be a struggle to keep up but I’m determined to get to bed every night well before midnight and wake up without the alarm before sunrise. It feels so goooood.
I wonder when I will learn that sleeping at night, not having naps, eating healthy food and going outside is good for me. I am a cranky baby if my schedule gets messed up, even if I still get a lot of sleep, just at a wrong time. Why is it so hard to do the right thing, even when you know you’ll feel better, and so easy to fuck things up?