Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Birthday Intermission
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Being so immersed in each other,
we remembered our divine connection.
Realizing the power of what we were feeling,
we held it as sacred.
We didn’t use words to describe it or give it a label,
And we didn’t attempt to define it or make it into something.
For all the years we were together,
Neither Quinn nor I told the other “I love you”.
Somehow using words was diminishing
to this feeling that truly moved the soul--
Almost disrespectful in a way.
Words could never portray adequately enough the
profound nature of this eternal love.
Once early in our relationship during our house-to-house internet communication, I sent Quinn the song called Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol which we now consider to be “Our Song.” It was a super powerful song for me (apparently both of us) at this point in our relationship. He said he listened to it for 4 hours straight--exactly as I was doing at the same time. Still to this day when our song comes on, no matter where we are, we are together. I feel him, my heart goes aflutter, and tears immediately well up in my eyes.
CHASING CARS
By Snow Patrol
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
It wasn’t until some time into our relationship that I realized
we weren’t using the words “I love you”
It was so obvious that words are powerful,
and yet they mean nothing at all!
We throw around words so loosely
that their meaning gets distorted or diluted.
We have automatic responses
that we may not even realize we are saying,
including “I love you”,
as we may have said it a bazillion times in our lifetimes already.
Other times getting the words across our lips can be paralyzing.
Saying “I love you” for many can be a very difficult thing to say especially for the first time in the beginning of a relationship. It takes vulnerability to open up and share with someone else the way you feel, especially when hoping to be accepted and the feelings reciprocated. “I love you” is such an intense phrase for most because it comes with a lot of commitment, attachments and expectations as well.
In choosing to say yes to surrendering to love, I felt I had already opened that place of vulnerability that some experience when becoming brave enough to say those words. It would never have mattered if I said them or not, because no matter what, I couldn’t hide from Quinn, he could feel me and “see” me already, which was way more powerful than words. Nothing I could have said could have compared to what I was feeling anyway.
Go with me on the journey toward Unconditional Love!