This is a guest post by the lovely and talented 
Hello Internet, Dani Dogg of Ev Dogg For Mayor here to continue our discussion about the monthly cycle of our lady parts. My last video covered the general overview of our monthly menstrual cycle. We discussed the choreographed dance that our hormones perform in order to naturally achieve ovulation and menstruation each month, and how both of those events are integral pieces working together. You may recall the rise and fall of our five hormonal friends: FHS, LH, Estrogen, Progesterone, and Testosterone. In this video, let’s take a closer look at how our body’s invisible hormone buddies are altered or suppressed when we take synthetic hormonal birth control.
Please allow me to make it clear that this video is not a debate about the ethics of using hormonal contraception as birth control. I don’t intend to discuss the potential short-term emotional and physical side effects, the potential detrimental long-term health effects, the possible correlation between birth control use and divorce rates, or the dark intentions of everybody’s favorite eugenicist Margaret Sanger. However, those may be the topics of future videos. Today, my intention is to simply take a closer look at our monthly menstrual cycle, when suppressed by synthetic hormone birth control, so we can continue to expand our basic understanding of our bodies. Just the facts, ma’am.
Before we begin, let’s define our terms:
Hormonal contraception is described as birth control methods that act on the endocrine system. The endocrine system is the collection of glands that secrete hormones directly into the circulatory system, for them to be carried to various target organs.
Hormonal birth control includes: the pill, the patch, the ring, the shot, the implant, and some IUD’s. Each of these methods introduce varying levels of certain hormones into our bodies. Some of these methods use alternative forms of Estrogen and/or a synthetic form of Progesterone (called Progestin).
Ok, I think we’re ready to get on with the topic: What happens to our hormones on hormonal birth control?
I’m a visual learner so let’s take a look at some charts.
Now, a quick technical note: I’m not a doctor nor am I a scientist. I researched studies and infographics available online, compared them, and compiled my findings into these convenient graphs. Second note: As I mentioned previously, different pills and different hormonal birth control varieties contain different levels of varying hormones, therefore, these are generic illustrations for educational purposes.
Chart #1 you’ll recognize from my last video. This is our body’s natural monthly hormonal dance, which includes ovulation and menstruation. You can see the rise of Estrogen (the red line), which causes the sudden surge of LH (the purple line), which triggers ovulation, which, if not productive, causes the decay of the corpus luteum, which releases a significant amount of Estrogen (the red line) and a large amount of Progesterone (the yellow line), which rise to dominance then fall, which triggers menstruation, only to return to the beginning levels, and the cycle starts all over again.
Ok, Chart #2. This is the effect of synthetic pseudo-hormones, such as the pill.
Hm. Nothing! Estrogen and Progesterone go up and remain raised during the three weeks that we eat the birth control pills, and they lower down on the week we eat the sugar pills. There’s no dance! No ups and downs. Or ins and outs.
Interesting. Now, the obvious question: How does this hormonal contraception work? The consistently high levels of Estrogen and Progesterone cause the following three simple steps:
It inhibits ovulation and stops our body from releasing an egg. No egg, no future baby.
It inhibits the production of a thick uterine lining. No lining, no comfortable home for future baby.
It makes our cervical mucus thick or sticky. No wet cervical mucus, no swimming, no fertilization.
Without the rise and fall of certain hormones in relation to each other, certain events are not triggered, and our bodies remain in a steady state of stasis.
But wait, what about the periods you may experience when taking the pill? Let’s take another look at Chart #2. Note that, as soon as the pseudo-hormones are stopped being fed to our bodies, our hormone levels plummet. It’s during this low time we have what is called a ‘withdrawal bleed’. These “period-like” bleeds are light and short because our bodies were prevented from building a thick uterine lining, so we don’t have much there to shed. They are caused by the sudden withdrawal from the level of hormones our bodies have become accustomed to during the rest of the month.
That concludes my brief summary of the menstrual cycle, when suppressed by synthetic hormone birth control. As promised, this video was not intended to get into the political or deep side of things just yet, but rather, to get the basic facts in place. I’d like to once again remind you of my intention with this Calm Your Titties video series. We have to establish the grammar and the logic before we can begin to unwrap the rhetoric. I’d like to help you establish a knowledge base as a jumping off point. So far, the first video was my back story; the second video established some general knowledge of the natural menstrual cycle; and this third video established some general knowledge of how hormonal birth control alters our natural menstrual cycle. Subsequent videos will expand on this basic level understanding. Next up, we’ll discuss natural birth control (or family planning) using the fertility awareness method, how to quickly and easily learn to identify which part of your cycle you’re currently experiencing, how that relates to your emotional ups and downs, how to regulate your cycle, natural PMS symptom relief (I’ll share how I completely eliminated my painful cramps and tenter boobies), and we’ll only keep expanding from there.
As a woman today, I believe it’s vitally important that we women learn agency, in particular when it comes to our hormones. We need to take off the blinders of modern society and instead take up the reigns and get in tune with our bodies. When it comes to vaginas, women really need to man up. Take responsibility for yourself, your body, your actions, your emotions, and your hormones. This has been Dani Mouser of Ev Dogg for Mayor. Until next time, calm your titties.
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