Arguments happen. No matter how gentle or quiet you are one day you will argue with someone. It can be your friend, family, partner, or even a stranger. The main thing is how you handle it.
I can never forget what happened during the COVID-19 lockdown. That period changed me in many ways but one big thing I learned was how small things can lead to big arguments, especially when emotions are high and everyone is just trying to cope.
When school suddenly closed I packed my bags and travelled home. I thought I would meet my mum, she had gone to visit my sister and the lockdown met her there, she told me she would be leaving my sister's side soon but she didn't make it before the lockdown. So I was at home alone. It wasn’t easy. I was managing the small food at home, seeing movies, and just trying not to go crazy.
Then my elder brother came home. I was happy at least I would have someone to talk to. For the first few days, everything was okay. We talked, cooked, and stayed indoors, but as the lockdown continued the stress started showing. We were tired, frustrated, and stuck in one place. Even small noises started to feel like an insult.
One evening I had plans to cook. I brought out rice, washed it, and left it in a bowl. I stepped out to fetch water. I didn’t stay long, maybe 15 minutes. When I came back I saw the rice already on fire. My brother had poured it into the pot and started cooking.
I was shocked because I had other plans for the rice, I wanted to add beans to it, and I asked him why he cooked the rice and he said I left it there like decoration and he was hungry so he cooked it, that reply made my head hot and I told him next time he should ask before touching something that’s not his. I had plans for that rice.
He looked at me and said, is it your father's rice? You always act like you’re the only one that matters in this house, at this point, I lost it. I told him he had no respect. He always acts like the boss just because he’s older. If I didn’t cook would he even eat anything in this house? He raised his voice too and said so many abusive words to me.
We started exchanging words back to back. He called me controlling, I called him selfish. He said I always act like I’m right. I said he doesn’t do anything but eat and sleep. The whole house was just full of shouting, I'm sure If neighbors were around they would have heard us. At this point, I was tired of the house.
I went into the room and slammed the door and started crying. Not just because of what he said but because everything was just too much. I missed my mum. I missed normal life. I missed peace and now the one person I was happy to see had made me feel like a burden.
That night I didn’t eat. I stayed in the room hugging my pillow. I kept thinking about everything we said to each other. I was angry but also sad. I knew we both said things we didn’t mean but my pride wouldn’t let me be the first to talk. The next day we didn’t say a word to each other. He stayed in the sitting room and I stayed in my room. When I passed him to go to the kitchen I acted like he wasn’t there but deep down I just wanted us to talk and act normal again.
Later in the evening, I heard a knock on my door and I didn’t answer because I knew he was the one. After some seconds I opened it. I saw a plate of food on the floor. Jollof rice and egg. That was our favorite combo, I didn’t even wait I took the plate and started eating. At that point, pride didn’t matter. After a while, he came into the room, stood by the door, and said he was wrong. That he shouldn’t have shouted like that.
I said I'm sorry too and he smiled and said let’s just survive the lockdown without killing each other. We both laughed. And just like that peace came back into the house. If my brother didn’t drop that plate of food we might have stayed angry for days. That small act of kindness reminded me that love doesn’t need big words. Sometimes jollof rice and egg is enough.
Arguments don’t always come from hate. Sometimes it’s pressure, hunger, stress, and frustration. It wasn’t about the rice. It was about how we were both feeling inside. Now I try not to let arguments get too far. I always ask myself if it is worth it because most times it’s not. Pride is heavy but Peace is lighter.
This is my response to this episode of hivelearners community prompt of #hl-w161e2 which the topic is tagged
SETTLING AN ARGUMENT
