Let's talk boundaries between friends and our intimate partners
Shall we?
I was on the street of Instagram yesterday going through my story when someone I follow used a question tag and asked the followers to ask questions so they can get to know her as a person and some random person dropped a comment
“I have a crush on your boyfriend”
She had to address it because she has been getting these kinds of comments every other day and never said anything even to the extent one of them sent food to her boyfriend with a note
“ your girlfriend is a waste of time for you”.
She said she wasn’t so bothered about the external comment, because these comments are from people that may have never seen her partner, but she was more concerned about the so-called friends who are doing too much to her partner in the name of friendship. Like sitting on his lab and calling him our husband or giving him a peck on the cheek in the name of greeting and so much more.
I spoke about it with my sister and she concluded that all these things are harmless and it is just the girl being insecure. That there is nothing to fear if one has a faithful partner. I completely understand that but there should be a limit to things like this
Don’t you think so?
Like a Few days back when l was my friend's husband's birthday, I was in his comment session wishing him a happy birthday when I saw comments “happy birthday dear”, happy birthday love”, “happy birthday darling” and I was so sure that most of these comments were the friends of the wife. It was awkward for me seeing it but I assumed the wife must have been ok with it, till I saw her comments addressing the issue.
I was cheering her up when I saw her reaction because I do not understand why ladies use these terms of endearment ( dear, love,...)so loosely when he is not your partner.
Insecurity or not, in my opinion, there are some boundaries that no friend should cross, that’s why I am a serious advocate of praying for a good friend, the same energy we use in asking for a good partner, we should use that same energy to ask for good friends because some friends are crazy.
In as much it is the man’s job to set the boundaries, most time they see it as normal and no harm intended, they act all ignorant and you feel like you are truly insecure especially when they are beginning to enjoy the attention. So it is still very necessary to put some “werey” friends in check.
Now I understand why people intentionally hide their relationship from the public and their friends and I do not blame them at all for that move.
So please share have any of your friends crossed the boundary with your partner (ex or present), how did you handle it? What is your take on this?