It’s astonishing how fast it happened. One day I was young and felt I had all the time in the world. Then I blinked my eyes and somehow landed in the uncharted territory of my middle years. This June I turned forty-eight, and have started to notice some interesting things going on.
There are the well known physical changes of middle age, decreased muscle tone, laugh lines starting to form, higher forehead and gray hair. As we approach the autumn of our years, no matter how hard we try to hide it, our faces begin to reveal to the world the kind of lives we've lived.
The psychological changes are even more interesting. Before middle age I thought the repetition of stories was just something seniors did along with complaining about whippersnappers and eating dinner at three-thirty in the afternoon. I was wrong. Yes, my friends and I are now beginning to tell the same stories over and over again.
This could easily be attributed to some natural age-related cognitive decline, stress, or maybe the accumulative effects of too many intoxicating substances but I don't think this is totally it. It’s as though we are retelling the stories that comprise the mosaic of who we are because a small part of us are afraid we’ll be forgotten. On some level we want our stories to be forever etched into the collective consciousness of humanity. We want our brief blip of existence on this planet to be remembered.
The middle years usher in wave after wave of profound realizations or “Oh Shit” moments as I call them. These are little epiphanies that stop you right in your tracks. I think Generation X, like every generation who came before us, are starting to realize their mortality on a massive scale. I see it in mass media, social media and face-to-face, we are waking up to the fact that we’re not going to live forever. When you have an Oh Shit moment it can’t be denied and isn't easily forgotten. It’s a realization that can be felt on a deep cellular level.
Because of this, Gen X'rs are discovering how valuable time is and are figuring out how we can best spend the time we have left more wisely. I’m concerning myself much less about what others think of me or the balance of my investment portfolio. I’m also placing less importance on career goals and learning how to divorce my own self-worth from milestones I achieve. There's much more to life than goals, grinding, and hustling. There are times when we have to learn (or relearn) how to just be. By just be I mean slowing down and being completely present for yourself and for those around you.
Lately, I’m focusing more on doing the inner work -- happiness, facing fears, and making awesome new memories. Most importantly, I’m thinking about legacy how I can make the world a better place for those I leave behind. Lately, I’ve been making a conscious attempt to shed anything or anybody who doesn't bring a spark of joy to my life. Time is just too short to spend what you have left of it mired in drama and negativity.
This year, legacy has occupied a huge swath of my mind space. To get to the bottom of it I asked, what do I love greater than myself? After a little contemplation I decided that the legacy I wish to leave the world with will be small, often anonymous, acts of kindness and these words of mine. I hope at some point in the future some stranger will pick up one of my books or find these words on the blockchain and they will make them feel something. I hope my words make someone see a different perspective, or smile, or even know that they’re not alone in this world. If my words accomplish this my life will have been complete.
Thinking about this kind of thing can be uncomfortable. It can even border on morose but it doesn’t have to be that way. Contemplating and then consciously creating a legacy can provide an extra octane boost to those of us in middle age who are beginning to feel a bit weary and worn around the edges. I tend think of legacy as a little red button on the steering wheel of life that, once pressed, propels me through mires of the middle years, soreness, fatigue, and at times, the worry that my life will never quite measure up to the one I imagined in my dreams.
Time can teach, time can heal, and time eventually always reveals the truth...IF a person is awake enough to notice. Sometimes we simply must take a deep breath, have faith, and take comfort that the universe is unfolding exactly as it was meant to. One thing's for certain, there’s no stopping time. There’s such a profound beauty in learning from our mistakes, gathering wisdom, letting your life unfold naturally, and surrendering to time gracefully.
I would like to leave you with a three things I’d like you to ask yourself:
What do you love greater than yourself?
What will be your legacy?
How would you like the world remember you?
When you answer these questions your life changes in some pretty profound ways. What once seemed so important starts to seem trivial and some things that seemed trivial all of a sudden pretty damned important.
Shakespeare penned that quote above in his play, As You Like It nearly five hundred years ago. In it he sums life up with his typical genius. Yes, life can be hard and it is shorter than we think but it is also the most amazing ride. Not a minute of it should be taken for granted. We are put on this Earth to love, to learn, to grow, and perhaps to help make life a little easier for others. Each of us have the chance to leave our own unique stamp on the world.
What will yours be?
It’s never too early (or too late) to ask yourself that question.
~ Eric Vance Walton ~
(Gifs sourced from Giphy.com)
Alarm Clock Dawn, one of the first full length novels published on the blockchain, and the book that started it all for me can be found HERE. Or Click Here to read it for free on the Steemit blockchain
My book on meditation, The Perfect Pause, is priced at $12.99 (paperback) and $4.99 (eBook). Buy the paperback and receive the eBook for free!
