Appearance" is exchanged for "being". If you know what I mean :

I think I didn't get it. I would loved to be explained further.

When it becomes more important what others think of you, talk about you, describe you, feed you back with, than just being in each others presence without wanting to impress or defeat, for example.

People immediately start being too aware of themselves when they meet others. In their minds they start to ask themselves anxiously if they will be liked, appreciated, listened to (so it's about appearance). And all the way through being together, the inner chatter goes on and on:

"Do I sound stupid? Do I come across arrogant? Does he find me pretty? What does his look mean? Does he mean me or 'just' what I represent? Is she finding me sympathetic? Did I just say that? How stupid I am! How impolite is he/she! How superficial! Can she just behave? Can't he get himself together? What a harsh thing to say! Ugh! I wish I could escape the situation! Damn idiot! Damn me, for thinking this way!"

Or, the other way:
"Oh, how lovely it is here! I like it very much. Oh, this pleasure! Ahhh... I feel so warm and cozy... This tea is excellent! The chocolate tastes like heaven! Oh, how she knows me well! Like it. Love it. I like the way he looks at me. So nice to talk to someone who is interested. Inspiring. Refreshing.
Awe, look how cute! How adorable. How wonderful!"

And so on and so forth.

You might want to read Erich Fromm. Or Alan Watts. They are way better in explaining this. Or listen to some buddhist monks lectures. There are plenty out there. If you are interested, I will search you the links.