I agree on this that people think of themselves being bad - I would ad "without knowing it". That is actually something someone would not believe. I only realized it myself after studying books and doctrines and started to listen to my self talks (inwardly). Something happens and you curse yourself, give yourself bad names and such. That is actually important to notice that when the inner judge speaks, that it has a meaning and an effect. If I myself judge me in the harshest ways, it's no wonder I do it with others, too.

It takes some self realisation to become aware of this habit.

Giving justification is totally okay. When someone asks me I can admit that I maybe am not really certain, why I decided this or that way. That there might be reasons and that I suspect it maybe "this" or "that". That usually opens a conversation and my counterpart has the chance to have a good talk with me. Instead of having to jump at my missionary statements. :) LOL

I mean, have you noticed? When you make statements (without having been asked) it usually goes into a not so nice direction.