Wise words from you.

I let myself being triggered by the forces I sense coming towards me. What then happens is, that I start to avoid putting myself into situations of which I assume I cannot stay calm about. This has an up-side as well as a downside. I might feel better secured from that outer forces, yet I may deprive myself of encounters of a positive nature. In the knowledge that this is so, two contradicting voices start to argue within me. The one tells me, that I am a cowered and too afraid to still get myself out there (in touch with my physical reality), the other wants to remain safe in my four walls and then compensates that "winning" in hours by making comments like this one :) I know I need not judge myself sharply but could ask myself, that if I am ready (on a daily basis) to put my feelers out there, than I shall take that impulse in doing so. I am the only one to set the pace and schedules, right?

I can cut myself some slack or put artificial pressure on myself to be more courageous. If I increase the pressure, courage may turn into something that I regard as a spontaneous release of stress (as also expressed here by @futuremind according to my interpretation), where I then engage in self-sabotage and it seems to be anger or hatred alone that is expressed outwardly. Such emotions, however, as we probably know better, are based on loneliness and despair and a deep sadness that other people feel overwhelmed by us. Not seeing that it is also ourselves when others seem unable to meet their inability to communicate well for these very reasons.

Greetings to you.