Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. Indeed, everyone probably has a nemesis, I can agree with you. Especially people with whom you have a difficult relationship are the ones you miss when they are gone. Even during one's lifetime, there are these separations and many a door has closed.

It seems to me that you have already gone through a long period of reflection and have found a way to deal with your family history. It is good to hear such experiences because they put the abstract events around us into perspective and make us aware of the importance of personal relationships.

The theatre out there in the world is often not worth making too much fuss about, in my opinion it is a distraction from what we don't want to let in and therefore we shift our confrontation with ourselves to the outside and fight battles that have little relation to the intimate sphere. Seeing a person as they are and not as they should be is an art.

You have done a good job of illuminating your sister's dark side, which leads me to think that you know your own and are seeking to make your peace. What we recognise about ourselves in terms of shadows is incredibly important so that we don't fall into the error of thinking that we are exceptionally good people, because we are not.

But to conclude that we are bad is too extreme and inappropriate, I think. Looking at life's work like your sister's makes me - again - realise how much people are actually prepared to sacrifice to give their offspring a better life, and such things are all too quickly interpreted as success. Although there are several perspectives on this, as you show. The fact that parents have no claim on how their child's life should be is a painful thing that is difficult to let go of.

Greetings to you.