As I said at the time, I like to write. But it's a hobby that I almost never have time for. More than anything because I need to feel what I write. But today what I felt when I woke up, I could not keep quiet.
And I had to leave it in writing when I could. And now it's that moment ^^
I decided to leave what I write for Steemit because my old computer stopped working and I lost all the stories and narrations I had made.
Like other blog pages, they are also somewhat forgotten because people no longer use them.
The truth is that most things I write are a bit sad. Because I feel that I have to take it into account in some way.
I find it easier to write when I feel sad, nostalgic and even when I feel anger or resentment.
One advice that an old friend who is a writer gave me is that it's easier for you to write when you mix your reality and something of fantasy. And the truth is that it helps a lot to mix both things.
Anyway, I leave my writing.
(Sorry for my english...)
I remember that last coffee at 16:00 in the afternoon. I remember your hurry to leave, your nervousness to be together again. And suddenly you threw my world down.
You told me it was over, that our paths never end up leading us in the same direction.
And it hurt. Fuck, it hurt. I cried, I got angry. But with the passage of time, that grudge is gone.
I decided, like you, to forget that always when we burn ourselves. I wanted to forget what you were for me, all the time that you and I have been together. And I thought I was getting it.
Until you started appearing in my dreams ...
No. My mind does not want to forget you, even if my heart is broken. It is a wound that does not heal, that at any moment bleeds. And I curse myself because I can not control my dreams. And I end up thinking you awake.
Many times to return to my home, I go through the same places where we share more than a few laughs and I end up remembering those moments, which are now so far away. That park where every summer day we were together, your old house, the school where we met. How easy it was to be happy at that time, where we did not have adult concerns.
And I feel that everything is fine, that this stage is over and now we have to live different ones. That there will be no more moments like that, but that's not why I have to hate you. I remember it with a wide smile in my mouth, and it depends on the day with some tear of nostalgia.
How can I control it? How are dreams controlled?
I can not decide to dream or not, you just show up. I can not even make my dream a nightmare. Because if they were nightmares, at least, I could hate you at some point ...
And the truth, you appear so many times in my nights, that I also hope to meet you so many times for my days.
I can not forget you, I can not hate you. I've tried, but it's impossible for me to get it. I can not forget that last farewell or hate those last words. I can not erase my memories or forbid you in my dreams. I can not even complain that you are present because you really are not.
How have you done to forget me? How can you sleep peacefully at night?
