Where I'm from age is everything. There is a frequency of age in which the society believes you should have achieved some specific goals as a human, regardless of you believing it or not you find yourself working towards that particular achievement meter set by the members of the society.
Do you feel it too? that constant nagging in your thought, an unwarranted questioning reminding you of the time spent. Comparing your entire life achievements to others, asking you multiple questions that is centred around one subject, when will it be your turn? When will your break through arrive? when will it all start making sense? When is that, when is this.....
It becomes more intense as you feed on the thought of what should be but then it makes you wonder if this provoking questions only exist within your mind but that isn't true. You might not have been confronted by anyone yet but they are also thinking about the same thing, probably you have noticed but chose to feign ignorance to it, A wise choice I would say but what does it really solve? when everyone around you look at you as if you should have been something or somewhere but then you wonder why you haven't.
At first whatever they have to say has no effect on you, since you believe your life - your rules but then gradually the vermin thoughts began to sink in and you began to wonder, Why am I left out? My colleagues that we graduated together have all gotten jobs in gigantic companies receiving awesome salaries and initiatives. Why haven't I?
You start wondering, "I was the best student in school during our days, I got the highest grades and receive highest recognitions in terms of academics, my name was in every lecturers lips, the student couldn't breath without saying out my name. There were all sort of cheering in the hall ways whenever I walk by majestically to show off my glamorous achievements but then here I'm. When did it all go wrong?
As if excelling in academics wasn't enough to put my name on the great wall of China, I also got talents, A voice that echoes like mighty waves in the oceans, with pleasant melodies. I was recognized to an extent, given different accolades to honour my talents. What was that name I was Called? oh it was rare gem, A gem they say, how come I have not been found by anyone? Have I been forgotten so easily? in few weeks/months/years I will be 30, I have read different stories about great and successful men, they most of them had their break through before they became 30 years old, why is mine different?
You wouldn't care much but your neighbour have started gossiping, he has been single for years with no kids and a wife, what exactly is he waiting for? We all met him living in this a room apartment but it seems we will all leave him behind but we heard he was a graduate of a renowned University, We heard he was a talented singer/artist/writer but then here he is struggling with his daily expenses.
It makes you wonder if it is a crime if your time is moving slower than others because any time anyone is moving pass your your doorstep or walk by you in the street you start breaking cold sweat, shivering and feeling the need to eavesdrop "They must be talking about me again, why must it be only me?" It is quite tormenting.
Being measured at every single turn by the society makes you wonder, is this fair? but it doesn't really matter. Because the same way the society expects us to figure out somethings a particular age or time, we also have that same mentality. we might not speak out loud about it but it lingers in our minds. They say age is just a number but truly it is not, the older we get the more worried we are about the things we have been able to achieve but what if I tell you it is still ok.
Compared to most people, I don't allow societal expectations or judgement get inside my head. As humans, our time of breakthrough differs from each other which is dictated by a lot of choices we made and other external factors. The fact that you are yet to achieve your goals at a desired age and others have doesn't make you less a human or a failure. What exactly can you do about it? No matter what you do the clock keeps ticking, So manage your thoughts, expectations and keep putting in the work.
This write-up was inspired by weekly featured content titled Having it figured out in hive learners community.
Cover image generated using chatgpt
